The Sweetest Pain Obsession
by kasviel
Summary: SONIC story! That's Sonny/Ric. Yes, slash. A moment of reckless hatred changes 3 lives forever. But can it salvage to brother's emotions?
1. Chapter One

  


**_The Sweetest Pain_**

  
  
**Foreword:** This is my first attempt at slashing a soap opera, and yes it is _General Hospital_. It's mainly a Sonic [Sonny/Ric] fiction and takes place...oh...sometime after the confrontation at the beach house in Martha's Vineyard. Let's say the night of the 5/01/03 episode. I would classify it as an AU [Alternate Universe].   
  
Fate takes a turn when a moment of self-destructive rage causes three lives to end, and the damned are spiraled into their destinies after life. Without light in the darkness and deprived of all past loves, how deep will sins run? Dark desires revealed and others forced...how far will the madness reach in the depths or the Underworld?   


  
**Chapter One**   
  
Nothing left.   
  
How many times had he felt this? Once. Twice. It seemed that he'd felt this way for an eternity. Empty. Alone. The memories that had been stirred that night...wounds that would never heal...   
  
But still, he was alive. Perhaps not all was...lost. He was alive, and he had proven what he had always known: that the blood that had always tormented him was now going to keep him safe. Ironic, that the bond he'd always longed to share with a family member was to be shared with his most hated enemy.   
  
As the man drove, his sharp, perfect face darkened with hatred. He hit his hand lightly against the steering wheel, his brown eyes glaring at the darkness he was driving into. There was nothing left...except for revenge. That was enough.   
  
Wasn't it?   
  
The world hung in silence in the twilight between night and morning. Music from the radio in the car was playing, and it only seemed to add to the man's annoyance. His handsome face curled into a scowl, and he looked down for a moment to shut it off finally.   
  
When he looked back up, his dark eyes widened in surprise. Somehow, he'd swerved off the road in his angry disorientation, and was heading straight for a car! The man went to turn the wheel, but just as he was about to, his eyes fell on the other driver.   
  
In the bright headlights of the two cars meeting, the man only had to see those eyes to know it was him. Those eyes, large and crazed, now alarmed, could only belong to one person. And in that instant, realizing who the other driver was, the man could not bring himself to swerve. His body took charge before his mind could, and he only pressed his foot down harder on the gas pedal.   
  
A figure suddenly appeared in the headlights, but it was too late to stop. An innocent life...well, it would be a small price to pay for vengance.   
  
A screeching of the tires against the pavement broke the silent night, and then there was a defeaning crash. After that, all was silent once more.   


  
At first, he thought it to be a dream. He felt his body lying on a soft surface, on his back. For a brief moment, he did not know what to feel. All his life had flashed through his mind but he could barely remember any of it right now, like a fleeting bittersweet dream. The air smelled like fresh rain and felt cool on his face. But the smell and the taste...that smooth kiss of freshness...it was sea air.   
  
The man struggled to sit up, his black hair wild and his face slightly confused. He glanced around, and saw the sea before his eyes. He was sitting in the sand, looking small and alone and dazed. He sat for a long moment, staring and trying to figure this situation out.   
  
Had he never left the beach house? He felt no pain, but had he been shot? He remembered crashing in Port Charles, so had someone dragged him out here? It was dawn by now. But why would anyone do that?   
  
The man looked himself over. No, he was not shot. In fact, his arm was no longer bandaged or wounded. The man frowned in confusion. Had some time passed? But...no...that couldn't be.   
  
Finally, he stood and looked around the familiar property in dismay. Why? Why was he back here? Anger began dawning on the man. He did _not_ like this place, not at all. In fact, he'd hoped to never see it again. He didn't want to be here, why had someone put him here? There was an ominous, frustrating feeling, and the man exhaled in fury.   
  
After stewing for a while in confusion, kicking at rocks and sand, he turned his back on the ocean. Now, he faced an empty house. This was the house that haunted his dreams, the house where his dreams began and ended and died. It was reflected in the man's dark eyes, glazing them over with a wistful look. Slowly the man began stepping towards it, drawn to it and fearing at simultaneously.   
  
It was dark inside, and only the wistful song of the crashing waves could be heard. The man slipped through the shadows, looking around in puzzlement at his old vacation home. The air was heavy with silence.   
  
Then, a voice spoke. "Well, welcome home, Ric Lansing."   
  
Ric whipped around in alarm. The first thing he saw, again, was those eyes. Worry fleeted through Ric's face for an instant, and then he narrowed his eyes and faced the other man with a set, cool face.   
  
"Sonny," he addressed him smoothly, "I should have expected you to be here, behind this. What? You're going to kill me after all?" He took a step toward him, his eyes blazing with hatred but his face lined with anxiety. "Your own brother?"   
  
Sonny just laughed an incredulous laugh, shaking his head. "Kill my own brother?" he asked, looking over at Ric. His large eyes were harder and angrier than Ric's. "Yeah, why shouldn't I? I mean, you would have no trouble killing me, right?"   
  
Ric frowned in confusion and shook his head. "I never..." He looked down, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "I don't understand, we went through this just earlier." He looked back at his brother. "I could have taken you at any time, if I'd wanted to. But I never did, remember?"   
  
"Never did?" Sonny walked up to his younger brother, looking him in the eye. "Never did?"   
  
"I...never..."   
  
Sonny's eyes blazed, and he let his fist fly, socking Ric directly on the cheek. Then, he took the man by his gray suit jacket and slammed him against the nearest wall hard. Ric flinched.   
  
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Sonny shouted at him, shaking him. "Don't you lie to me, Ric! Now you--" He slid his arm beneath Ric's neck, choking him. "You didn't hesitate once, not once Ric, even though you knew what would happen. At least have the guts to admit it!" he shouted, punching Ric in the stomach.   
  
"Ngh. Agh...." Ric glared at him, red faced and furious. "I don't know what the _hell_ you're talking about!" he yelled desperately. "I didn't try to kill you. If I had, you'd be dead."   
  
"I am dead!" Sonny shouted. "I am dead! Don't you get it?!"   
  
Ric's eyes went blank. He remembered headlights and a blaring horn. "That crash..." he said softly. His eyes met Sonny's, and he suddenly looked anxiously skeptical. "But we didn't....I mean, we survived it, right?"   
  
Sonny shook his head at Ric's stupidity.   
  
"We're here, so we got out, right?" Ric insisted. "I mean," he laughed nervously, "we're not dead or anything."   
  
"Here..." Sonny threw Ric aside, away from the wall. "Where do you think 'here' is, Ric? Eh?! Where?!"   
  
"In...my...summer house...the Vineyard..."   
  
"You idiot," Sonny said, waving a hand in frustration. "Don't you remember being in the hospital? Or were you dragged out of your car in a body bag? Why do you think we're here? Don't you get it?" He grabbed Ric by the shirt and shook him again. "We're _dead_, Ric. You killed us."   
  
Ric's eyes searched Sonny's for some sign that he was lying, but there was none. Still, Ric laughed and shook his head. "You're lying!" he guessed. "You're trying to get me to think that." He shrugged. "I don't know what your plan is, but it's pretty moronic. We're obviously alive."   
  
Sonny looked tired by him. "There really is something wrong with you, Lansing," he said. He put a hand to his forehead like he had a headache, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "Go. If we're alive, then go. Just leave. Go ahead."   
  
"...All right, I will."   
  
With that, Ric left the beach house again. This time, he looked around more carefully outside. All looked the same, but something was different. No, Sonny's words had made him paranoid, that was all. Everything was the same. The ocean was sprawled out into the horizon, the beach reached up the coast, and the other houses...   
  
Ric frowned. Where _were_ the other houses? Usually, he could see other properties from this point, but they seemed to be missing. Ric went further up the beach, perplexed. No, he could no longer see anything but that house and this beach.   
  
"I haven't been here in a while, I probably forgot the layout of the place," Ric rationalized to himself, nodding. "It doesn't matter. I'll take the back road to town."   
  
And so he tried. However, as he neared the end of the road, he felt his skin crawling. He rubbed his arm, looking around suspiciously. Something did not feel right.   
  
Suddenly, at the end of the road, there was a flash of orange and red light, and a burst of heat. Ric jumped back, eyes wide. A wall of fire, reaching higher than the forest, had shot up out of nowhere. The man drew a breath and looked around in dismay. The flames burned all around the road, cutting it off from any other part of the vineyard. It burned evenly, never spreading or igniting anything else.   
  
"...He...he set this up," Ric figured. He laughed. "He went through all the trouble to set this up. Clever. I'm impressed."   
  
"You're certifiable, Ric."   
  
Ric did not have to turn around to know who it was. He just smirked. "That means a lot, coming from you," he said cynically.   
  
"Jeez."   
  
Sonny grabbed Ric and pushed him into the fire. Before Ric could even cry out, he hit hard against the flames as if they were a wall. He stared and fingered the fire. It felt like a heated glass wall.   
  
"What...the..." He squirmed. "Ngh. Sonny, this is hot."   
  
"Do you believe me or not, Ric?" Sonny asked wearily, pressing the man closer to the flames. "I'll let you fry, I don't care."   
  
"All right!" Ric said, struggling. "All right. Let's say it's true, we're, we're dead."   
  
"I didn't ask you to say it's true," Sonny said. "I asked whether you believed me or not."   
  
"I do!" Ric said. "Okay! Fine!"   
  
Sonny released him and he darted away from the fire. Ric rubbed his cheek, which had been pressed against the searing wall. Sonny just gave him an odd grin.   
  
"I told you," he said. "We're dead, Ric. Ghosts."   
  
Ric looked at him, and then lowered his gaze. So, he really had killed them both in the car accident. It was over. It was all over. All those years he'd spent plotting and suffering...it had ended that night, in a car crash. Ric turned this all over in his mind, and then settled on the decision that he'd won. A smile slowly spread across his face, and he began to laugh. He turned to Sonny with a demented glee.   
  
"I've won, then!" he exclaimed.   
  
Sonny blinked. "What?"   
  
"I won!" Ric insisted, his face lit with cruel delight. "I took it all away! Your wife, Michael, your territory, your _life_. You have nothing. You'll have to haunt this hated place with me for the rest of eternity." He laughed meanly. "You won't even get to see your unborn child, Sonny. Hm. Wonder what it'll be? A girl? A big baby boy? Oh, and I wonder how Carly will raise the poor thing without you? Ironic, isn't it? I grew up without a mother, and now your baby will have to grow up...without you."   
  
"You're disgusting!" Sonny punched Ric in the face, and then tackled him. Ric fell back, and Sonny sat on him, pummeling him. "You sick, arrogant, disgusting bastard!"   
  
Ric was writhing in pain when Sonny finally stopped, but he began laughing. "What are you going to do?!" he asked, grinning up at Sonny in insanity. "Kill me?! Go ahead! Try!" He laughed. "We're already dead!"   
  
Sonny stared at him in disbelief. "...And you call _me_ psychotic?" He gave Ric a final punch in the gut and stood up. He looked down at his brother for a moment, torn between an inkling of pity and a sea of hatred, and then walked away.   
  
Ric quickly got to his feet and stumbled after him, much to Sonny's displeasure. He was still chuckling, though wiping blood from the corner of his mouth.   
  
"So, the great mobster was taken out by his little brother after all," Ric mused. He laughed quietly, shaking his head. "It really is ironic, isn't it?"   
  
"You don't know when to quit, do you?"   
  
"Heh. Why quit now?" Ric smiled. "I can torment you forever here."   
  
Sonny turned on him. "You can _try_, Ric." He pointed his index finger in Ric's face. "But don't think that just because I can't kill you, I can't get you to shut up. I can, and I will, if you keep this up."   
  
"...Heh." Ric gave Sonny a cocky smile, but stop talking. Sonny walked on ahead, and he followed along. They soon returned to the house, and went back inside. Sonny sat down on the sofa, quiet and brooding. Ric hung around, not quite knowing what to do or say.   
  
"Well, I guess this is home now," he finally said, trying futilly to act amused instead of worried. "How about that..."   
  
Sonny decided to speak with him, since it was better than thinking of all he'd lost. "I really don't get you, Lansing," he said, looking over at him. "You really think it was worth it? Sure," he raised a hand, "you got me, I'm dead. But so are you."   
  
Ric shrugged. "A small price to pay," he said with false bravado.   
  
"Small?" Sonny gave a short laugh. "Hah! What? 'It's only my life'? Is that it? Don't be stupid. You gotta care!"   
  
"I don't." Ric looked down at him with hate. "I don't care about anything but hurting you."   
  
"Hurting me..." Sonny turned and stared into the empty fireplace. "You only hurt yourself, Ric. Me, you know, at least I had...a life, a family...some sort of career. But you." He clicked his tongue and shook his head once. "You had nothing, Ric. Just a lot of useless plots and senseless hatred."   
  
Ric looked hurt. He pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded. "Yeah, nothing. That's always been me, right?" He glared at his older brother. "And whose fault is that? Couldn't be yours, right? No, it's never your fault, is it?"   
  
"Hey. I'm not saying that....I didn't screw some things up." Sonny sat back on the sofa. "I should have just let my mother live out here, maybe I should have accepted Trevor Lansing. But who knows? Maybe something else would have gone wrong eventually. Or maybe not. But the point is, Ric, you still don't have much reason to be so...obsessed."   
  
"Much reason?" Ric swelled with indignance. "I have _plenty_ of reason to hate you! You're scum! You took her away from here! You destroyed her!!!"   
  
"You never even knew her!" Sonny shouted. "You were nothing but a little _spawn_ when she left! Besides, she took me away to protect you."   
  
"She didn't want me!" Ric yelled. "She wanted you! She chose you, and you killed her!"   
  
Sonny was rubbing his temple, sick of this argument. "Get over it!" he shouted at Ric. "You're a grown man! And you're not the only one who grew up without a parent, you know. I never saw Mike! So what? I don't go around complaining about it!"   
  
"That's because you're cold!" Ric pointed out. "You're cold and you're psychotic! You don't care about anything!"   
  
"Ric," Sonny sighed, "Ric, Ric, Ric....shut up."   
  
"You--"   
  
"I said shut up." Sonny stood. "The truth of it all is that you're a sick, twisted little twerp that went crazy because he didn't have some perfect life he dreamed up. No one's life is perfect, Ric. Kids come from broken homes. Some have it worse than you, believe it or not."   
  
"But I had a chance, Sonny!" Ric said furiously, his eyes actually watering. "I had a chance, and you stole it from me! You stole it like you steal everything you want or are too jealous to stand!"   
  
Sonny faced him, pondering Ric's psychosis. "I was a kid, Ric, you know how kids can be stupid," Sonny said. "I just didn't like your father." He shrugged. "But it's over, Ric. It's over. We're adults, the past is over. It's done, Ric. Can you get that?"   
  
"It will _never_ be over!" Ric insisted stubbornly. "You're going to rot here with me, in this sort of _hell_, and I will **never** let you forget that I won. And I did win, Sonny! I won and I will make you know it every single day in this world."   
  
Sonny shook his head, exhaling. Then, unexpectedly, he gave Ric a ringing slap across the face. Ric was knocked to the side, and grabbed onto the sofa to keep from falling. He looked shocked, and clutched his face tightly.   
  
"Do you even listen to yourself?" Sonny asked him. "You need to get over it. You're _obsessed_."   
  
"Just deal, right?" Ric asked furiously, rubbing his cheek. His eyes were barely able to contain his tears. "You get to angst and brood and go nuts, but I just have to deal, right?"   
  
"One thing going wrong in life isn't a valid reason to go crazy. You violated Carly, you took me away from my family, even though you killed yourself....Do you know how many lives you ruined? One thing, because of _one thing_ that went wrong?" He shook his head. "You're spoiled, Ric. You're a spoiled little jerk."   
  
"I am _not_ spoiled!!!!" Ric shrieked. "You are!!! You take everything you want! I worked, I worked hard for everything I've gotten!"   
  
"Including that trust fund, Ric?"   
  
"...Agghhh! You goddamn hoodlum!"   
  
With that, Ric lunged at Sonny. He caught Sonny with a punch to the jaw, but Sonny quickly overcame him. Ric was persistant, however, and Sonny had to wrestle him to the floor and hold him down by the wrists. Ric struggled wildly, but gave up to his lack of strength. He looked at Sonny with a tearful rage.   
  
"Whoa, kind of scary there, Ric," Sonny said, a bit amused. "Hey, calm down, lawyer boy."   
  
Ric was extremely upset, and could not even speak. Sonny's face softened ever so slightly. He pitied Ric, he really did. After all, the man was clearly insane. Spoiled though he was...he was pitiful.   
  
"I worked," Ric tried to defend himself tearfully. He turned his face from Sonny's and was quiet for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut over tears. "....I worked for everything. And I _suffered_. I suffered." He attempted to point at the window on the other side of the room. "I sat there every day....every summer after my father told me about our mother...imagining...imagining what she was like." He drew a shuddery breath. "I suffered more than you have!"   
  
"More than I have?" Sonny sighed. "You idiot. I had to _fight_ for everything I ever got. Did your father ever hit you? Ric? Eh?!"   
  
Ric turned his face. "No."   
  
"Well, there you have it," Sonny said. "I mean, you know about my stepdad don't you?"   
  
"Yeah." Ric exhaled, trying to calm himself. "If it's even true."   
  
"Shut up. Ric."   
  
Ric looked up at him, and their eyes met. Their eyes were their mother's eyes, dark and mysterious. Sonny's flashed and snapped and sparkled with emotion; Ric's were dead inside, only glittering with hatred sometimes. Sonny was dark and handsome, manly. Ric was fair and looked like money, smooth and pretty. They were so different that it was difficult to believe they were related.   
  
"Why, Sonny?" Ric asked now, appearing broken and slightly meek.   
  
"Why _what_, Ric?"   
  
"Why couldn't you have just let things be?" Ric asked. "Why did you have to hate me, and my father? Why couldn't you have just...loved me...like a brother? We could have been a family."   
  
"Ric..."   
  
Suddenly, there was the sound of the door being burst open. Sonny and Ric turned. To Ric's absolute horror, Jason Morgan had burst into the scene, cold blue eyes hard even in confusion. He looked down at Sonny, who stood up off of Ric. Ric punched the air in anger as he sat up, and rubbed his face again. He looked up at Jason fearfully, though he tried to hide it, and Jason shot him a piercing glance.   
  
"Sonny, what is this?" Jason asked. "What's going on? Why is he here?"   
  
"Jason?" Sonny inquired. "You can see us? We're ghosts here."   
  
Realization dawned quickly on Jason's face, and then he looked angry. "_Damn_ it," he swore. "Damn it. I knew that it! That stupid car came out of nowhere, can you believe it?" He shook his head. "So lame."   
  
Ric frowned and glanced to the side in thought. He sat on the floor like a kid, pondering. Could it be that that figure he'd seen in the lights...?   
  
"You died in a car accident?" Sonny asked incredulously.   
  
"Yeah," Jason replied bitterly. He kicked at the floor. "Black car, and another one came in on the side."   
  
At this, Ric made a small amused noise. Sonny and Jason turned to him instantly. Ric snickered briefly, and forced himself to stop. But the glee lingered on his face, and Jason caught it.   
  
"What are _you_ laughing at?" he asked nastily.   
  
"Ah, nothing," Ric lied. Then, he smirked again. "Just how incredible it is that big, bad Jason, the hitman, was taken out by a car." He shook his head. "I'm disappointed, Morgan."   
  
"You shut up." Jason kicked him hard on the side and then turned to Sonny. "We can't kill him, then?"   
  
"Nah. He's already dead."   
  
"Damn it."   
  
Ric laughed, though holding his side. "Interesting little situation, isn't it?"   
  
Jason grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him to his feet. His blue eyes went dead. "I can't kill you, but how many broken bones do you think it'll take to shut you up?"   
  
Ric looked nervous, and he glanced at his brother worriedly. Sonny caught his silent plea for help, and put a hand on Jason's shoulder. Jason glanced at him, but only held Ric tighter. Sonny gestured for Jason to back off. "Jason."   
  
"What?" Jason asked, trying to hide his annoyance. He put an arm to Ric's neck. "He said himself that we can't kill him, so what's wrong with hurting him?"   
  
"Jason, that's enough."   
  
"Sonny!"   
  
"Let my brother go, Jason," Sonny said firmly. "Now."   
  
Jason angrily released Ric, who coughed slightly. Too annoyed by Sonny's leniancy to speak, he paced a few times, running his hands through his spiky blond hair. Ric rubbed his neck, eyeing Jason smugly.   
  
"How nice to be defended by my big brother," he muttered sarcastically.   
  
"Ric." Sonny turned on him. "Ric, he won't do anything unless I let him, but don't think I won't hurt you. Consider yourself lucky, shut the hell up, and go somewhere."   
  
"Somewhere?"   
  
"Anywhere!" Sonny snapped. "Just get lost."   
  
"..._Fine_," Ric said haughtily. He stormed out in a huff.   
  
"This really is Hell," Jason said. "It isn't fair, Sonny." He shook his head. "It is not fair."   
  
"Not fair?" Sonny inquired. "You don't think we deserve this?"   
  
"Being locked up forever with that scum?" Jason asked, crossing his arms. "No. Not even we deserve it."   
  
"Ah, forget him," Sonny said, waving a hand callously. "He'll suffer more than we will. I know it...sounds corny, but we've got each other, you know what I mean? Who's he got? No one."   
  
Jason nodded, but didn't fully agree. Did Ric really have no one? After all, Sonny had always had a soft spot for him, even Jason could see it. Would they hate each other more as time went by...or would they grow to understand one another? Maybe Ric never would get Sonny, but Sonny was already beginning to pity him and excuse his evillness for insanity. And with nothing to do around the place but talk...it would be too easy for Ric to play up the sympathy if he chose to.   
  
_Ric's got no one, Sonny said,_ Jason thought. _No, he's wrong. Ric has his brother. Ric has Sonny. And if he realizes that...there might just be problems..._   


  
Outside on the beach, Ric was beginning to feel that he had nothing. During the summers of his youth, he'd always felt a sense of loneliness in this place. Now, he wouldn't even have his father to keep him company. There was no revenge to plot, no books to study, no cases to work on; Ric felt empty.   
  
It was over. It was over and he'd won. He really had no more reason to even hate Sonny as much anymore. So, now what?   
  
"I don't know," Ric said softly to himself. "I just don't know..."   
  
Regret was beginning to filter into his mind. It had been a sort of 'lame' way to die, for all three of them. All those years of carefully plotting a detailed revenge plan had been wasted; he'd just mowed Sonny down in the end anyway. For that, he should have funded Faith, and let her shoot Sonny on the street or something. It had been a stupid thing to do...sacrificing himself for revenge.   
  
Of course, Ric did not blame himself for any of this. It was Sonny's fault, naturally. If Sonny hadn't gotten him in such a bad mood earlier that evening, Ric never would have considered suicide. And if Sonny hadn't been driving down that particular road at that exact time, they never would have crashed. Ric might have run Jason over if he'd seen him crossing, but nothing more. Sonny's fault. It was all Sonny's fault.   
  
So, what could he do about it? Not much. He'd killed Sonny...but oddly enough, Sonny did not seem broken. Even so, there was nothing Ric could do or say to break him, especially not with Sonny's temper and Jason's cruelty. He could not do anything to Sonny now.   
  
Well then, was there anything he _wanted_ from Sonny? Ric pondered this for a long moment, staring out into the sea. Maybe...maybe there was one thing he'd never had that he could still get from his brother. And maybe he could get it...while simultaneously driving Sonny and Jason apart. Not that it would be a huge accomplishment, but it would be nice to stir some trouble that way.   
  
"It just might work," Ric thought aloud. "In any case, it will certainly pass the time..."   
  
Ric nodded to himself and went back to the house. He had suddenly realized that he'd let Sonny throw him out of his own property. As he neared the living room, he heard Jason and Sonny talking. Ric flattened himself the wall and crept in very slowly, listening to them.   
  
"You died in a crash too?" Jason was asking.   
  
"Yeah," Sonny replied. "Carly...Carly was thirsty, you know? But we'd run out of everything and I wanted her to have something good, so I took out a car and went to the store for orange juice or something. Then that...bastard Ric...came speeding out of nowhere, and he sped up when he saw me." He pounded one fist into his palm. "And we crashed."   
  
"Ric?" Jason frowned deeply. "So, he was probably the one who...hit me."   
  
Sonny nodded.   
  
"That _bastard_," Jason said seethingly. "He lied. He lied about everything. He had no trouble killing you, Sonny, and we should have had no trouble killing him. I knew it. I knew we should have killed him right there. Why didn't you let me shoot him, Sonny?"   
  
"I know you'll never understand this, Jason," Sonny replied, "but I don't regret saving him then."   
  
"What?! Sonny!"   
  
Ric frowned and looked over at his brother, who could not see him.   
  
"I hate it that he did that stupid thing," Sonny said, "and I'll probably give him another beating for it later, but...it's all on him. The guilt, the stupidity, everything. And he can keep it. I hope it drives him further off the edge. I detest being dead and I _hate_ that slime, but...at least I can say I didn't kill my mother's son."   
  
"...And Carly?" Jason asked. "Ric took you from your family, Sonny."   
  
Sonny's eyes darkened. "I know," he said quietly. "He will pay, Jason. Here and when we cross over into wherever...believe me, he will suffer more than we will."   
  
"Will he?" Jason asked. "Or will you keep defending him?"   
  
"You will get your hits in, Jason," Sonny said, his voice raising. "You will get your chance to torture him. Like now. Ric! Get over here, you eavesdropping lowlife."   
  
Ric straightened his jacket and came into the living room. Jason glared at him, and he only gave him his usual smug look. However, he made sure to linger close to Sonny.   
  
"I wasn't eavesdropping," he informed them. "And look who's calling _me_ a lowlife."   
  
Sonny sighed. "Jason."   
  
Jason stood and Ric took a step backward.   
  
"Hey, come on, you insulted me first," Ric defended himself. "Call off your attack dog, Sonny."   
  
But Jason came after him, and slammed him against the wall. Ric faced the wall, trying to escape. "Sonny!"   
  
"Don't hit his face, Jason," Sonny said. "He's annoying enough to look at without bruises."   
  
"Ngh. Very funny. Come on, Sonny, tell him to--agh!"   
  
But Sonny said nothing, and Jason used the opportunity to test his boss. He punched Ric on the sides and on the back, hard enough to make the man cry out. In his mind, he counted the punches until Sonny called to him to stop. Not good. Sonny had called him off way too soon. Jason exhaled softly, worrying, and released Ric.   
  
Ric crumbled to the floor, holding his side. He was angry, and sick of being in pain. He looked up at Sonny as the man walked up to him.   
  
"Can't take an insult?" he asked. "Going to sick Jason on me every time I open my mouth?"   
  
"Nah. That's enough for now," Sonny said with a surprising undertone of pity in his voice. He helped Ric to his feet. "You're hateful...but you're my brother."   
  
"You've been beating on me all day, and suddenly I'm your brother?" Ric said moodily. He pushed Sonny away and stumbled over to the sofa himself. There, he lay on it, wincing. "You'll accept your blood, but only when it's conveniant, right? Like when you beat up our mother..."   
  
"I never touched her, Ric," Sonny told him.   
  
Ric laughed bitterly. "You expect me to believe that?"   
  
"It's different with you, Ric, you're my brother, not my mother," Sonny pointed out. He leaned over Ric, looking down at him. "Even though you don't really fight like one, you _are_ a man, Ric. You can take it, and you deserve it."   
  
"Great rationalizing, Sonny," Ric said. "Is that what you do? Excuse away all your violence?"   
  
Sonny laughed. "Violence. Would you listen to him, Jason? This is all too shocking for the college boy."   
  
Ric removed the arm he'd slung over his eyes and looked up at Sonny for a long moment. Then, he turned his face and murmured, "Leave me alone."   
  
Ric expected Sonny to go on picking on him, but Sonny actually didn't say anything else. He briefly touched Ric's shoulder and then went to speak with Jason. Ric thought about this, and eventually drifted into sleep.   
  
**End of Chapter One**


	2. Chapter Two

  


**_The Sweetest Pain_**

  
  
**Chapter Two**   
  
While Ric was out of the way, Sonny and Jason talked about things. Sonny was surprised to see that Jason was more upset over losing Courtney than anything else. Eventually, the conversation waned into a silence of depression. Jason left then, saying he would check out everything outside for a while. Sonny was left alone to watch his sleeping brother.   
  
Ric looked so peaceful that it was a little hard to think he'd caused all this. But despite his face, he was a coldhearted killer with no remorse for anyone. How many lives had he ruined or at least hurt? Sonny's, Jason's, Courtney's, Carly's, Michael's....he'd even hurt the child Carly had yet to give birth to. Though he hurt himself more than anything, he was not too shabby at wrecking others.   
  
Despite what he said, and probably what he thought, Ric could not care much about his late mother, either. If he did, he wouldn't have spent his life disgracing her. Sure, he had it all figured out and excused in that twisted little mind of his, but the truth was that he was a discredit to both of his families.   
  
Still, there was something about him. It had always been there, even before Sonny knew they were related. It was the reason why Sonny had let him hang around pestering for so long. It wasn't something likeable, but it wasn't something hateful either. Sonny didn't know what it was...but it was beginning to bother him.   
  
Perhaps Ric sensed Sonny's dark-eyed gaze, because he frowned in his sleep. He began to stir shortly after, and finally woke up. The first thing he saw...were those eyes.   
  
"Wah!" Ric was startled, and tumbled off the sofa. He quickly stood and looked around in alarm. Slowly, he remembered the events of earlier. "...Sonny..."   
  
"Yeah." Sonny shrugged. "It's me. You that scared of me?"   
  
"Hmph. Scared," Ric scoffed. "No, I'm simply not accustomed to the idea of living with you." He took off his jacket and threw it aside on the sofa, then stretched. "What time is it?"   
  
"Afternoon. It matter much?"   
  
"I guess not." Ric sat down on the sofa, rubbing the sleepiness out of his face now. "We're really dead?"   
  
"Yep." Sonny sat on the other end of the sofa, on the arm, and stared at Ric. "What are you gonna do now, Ric? No job, no life, no need for revenge. The boredom will make you realize what a dumb thing you did, you know. If you don't realize it already."   
  
"It was your fault," Ric insisted. "Everything is your fault."   
  
"Ah. Of course!" Sonny smiled. "You're going to play your little game of hating me. Well, let me tell you now, that will get old faster than you think, Ric."   
  
"Hasn't gotten old all these years..."   
  
"...You're sick."   
  
Ric looked at him, and then stood. He wandered over to the window on the far side of the room and stared outside. "It isn't even worth it anymore," he said quietly. "I won. It's over. The whole damn thing is over."   
  
"So...what? You don't want to fight anymore?"   
  
"No." Ric turned to him. "It would be best to end it on my victory, leave it at that."   
  
"So then, now what?" Sonny asked curiously. "You don't want to fight, so now what do you want?"   
  
Ric turned his face to the window, and the sunlight made him look a little older and tired. "I don't know," he said distantly. "What else is there?"   
  
"Well, not living, since you wrecked that too," Sonny said. "Guess you're screwed, Ric." He patted Ric on the shoulder condenscendingly and left the beach house.   
  
Ric followed him out into the bright day. His eyes glimmered sadly, recalling all the days like this he'd spent here. "I never could decide whether I loved or hated vacationing here," he told Sonny. "I mean, I loved everything about this place. I love the water, the beach...the house..." He shook his head. "But it always hurt so much to be here...and dream of what might have been."   
  
"At least you had somewhere to vacation!" Sonny snapped. Ric's persistant whining about the past was beginning to irk him greatly. "You know. What did I have? The streets. There were no beaches for me, Ric, just that cold, bloodstained pavement. You had...a loving father and a stepmother who ignored you. I had a loving mother and a stepfather who tormented both of us. You learned law in nice, safe little preppy schools. I learned to fight on the streets. So you stop that goddamn complaining!"   
  
"You're too cold to understand."   
  
"Understand _what_?!" Sonny asked in exasperation. "I'm sorry I didn't love you and complete your idea of the perfect little family! Okay?! I'm sorry! I admit it, it was wrong. You even took me out for it! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?!"   
  
"...I don't know."   
  
Sonny raised his hand to hit him, but thought better of it. Instead, he only waved the hand at Ric and stormed down to the beach. Ric followed.   
  
"Why do you keep after me?" Sonny asked. "Why? Quit tormenting me or I'll start tormenting you back."   
  
"I'm not trying to torment you," Ric said. He smirked. "That's a perk."   
  
"A perk," sneered Sonny. "I'll give you a perk, you annoying little bastard."   
  
"Seriously, I'm just...trying to find ways to pass the time," Ric said. "Not much to do here, being dead and alone."   
  
"Think about crossing over?"   
  
"No." Ric shook his head. "No. Not yet."   
  
"Scared, eh?"   
  
"Not really." Ric shrugged. "Doesn't matter. You'd follow along, wouldn't you? And Jason would follow you."   
  
"Yeah, that's right," Sonny replied. "And I don't think any of us are going anywhere but...down there. Know what I mean?"   
  
Ric lowered his eyes. "..."   
  
"So, what will you do here? Other than go out of your mind from boredom?"   
  
Ric looked at him and then walked closer to the shore. He really did not know what to say. Sure, he'd always had things to do here as a kid, but...now...   
  
He knelt and began mindlessly sifting the sand through his hands. "I don't know," he said again. "I don't know anything anymore." His eyes narrowed. "I was always so sure of myself, so sure of what I wanted. So sure. And now I'm successful, and it feels great...but...there's nowhere to go from the top, you know."   
  
"Some victory," Sonny said. "But if you want to believe you won, go ahead Ric...go ahead..."   
  
"I will," Ric said. He stood up again. "Say, where is Jason?"   
  
"Went to think somewhere..."   
  
"Good. Hopefully he stays gone for a while. Or gets lost. Something."   
  
"Don't talk about him like that," Sonny said, pointing in Ric's face. "Just because you're my brother doesn't mean I'm taking your side over his."   
  
"Haven't you already?" Ric pointed out smugly. He walked began taking off his shoes.   
  
"You really enjoy pushing me, don't you?" Sonny asked. "Just like I always loved getting you angry..."   
  
Ric glanced up at him. "Did you really?"   
  
Sonny nodded. "It was amusing, seeing that fury in your eyes...your face going all red..."   
  
Ric blushed slightly and finished taking off his shoes. He gave Sonny an annoyed look, and then removed his shirt and handed it to him. "Get this back to the house for me, would you?"   
  
Sonny watched Ric go off into the shallow waters, and then tossed his shirt onto the ground. "Spoiled, condenscending little..."   
  
"Brother!" Ric called, finishing the sentance. He walked backwards, facing Sonny. "Little brother!" he reminded him. Then, he turned back to the sea and waded through some water. "And that's the last thing I'll be wanting from you, Sonny," he murmured to himself. "To be your brother..."   
  
Back on the beach, Jason returned. Having taken the time to force himself to block out Courtney's memory, his eyes were colder than even before. He stood next to Sonny and glanced out at Ric.   
  
"The hell is he doing?"   
  
"I dunno." Sonny shrugged. "Wading? Agh, something rich little kids do when they go vacationing in the vineyard."   
  
"I wish you had let me shoot him."   
  
"I'm sorry, Jason," Sonny apologized. "I really am. Because of me...you died. Because I couldn't kill my brother. I wanted him to live...and now we're all dead." He looked out into the sea. "It's like he said. I destroy everything."   
  
"No, Sonny, it is **not** your fault," Jason told him. "You were trying to do the right thing...and he destroyed us." Jason scowled. "And now he's...just going to go unpunished."   
  
"Nah. He'll suffer enough," Sonny said. "He's got nothing. No one."   
  
"I know you said that before, but...it's not entirely true," Jason said slowly.   
  
"You calling me a liar, Jason?" Sonny asked in surprise.   
  
Jason turned his eyes on Sonny. "He has you."   
  
"...Me? He hates my guts."   
  
"Did he say that?" Jason asked. "What has he said, Sonny? Has he been hassling you every step of the way, going on about how he hates you, like he did in life? Or has he said...he wants to stop fighting? That he's declared victory and it's over?"   
  
"Well, yeah, he said that but..."   
  
"He's plotting again, Sonny," Jason warned him. "He got everything he wanted, or at least he thinks he did, so now he's going to make up something else to go after. And it's you, Sonny."   
  
"Me?" Sonny asked. "He has nothing to gain. What could he possibly want from me?"   
  
"Remember when he first slithered into town?" Jason asked. "How he was so eager to get close to you, closer than I am?"   
  
"Yeah, for information on the business."   
  
"No. There was something else," Jason said. "You told me that even after you identified him as Faith's silent partner, he kept insisting how good a lawyer he was. He was always trying to make you believe he was perfect. He's got something to prove."   
  
"So, what? He wants big brother's approval? What?"   
  
"Yeah, he wants that, and he wants a brother," Jason said. "He went back to his old plan, I can see it. He's trying to get close to you again, to edge me out."   
  
"Well, even if it's true, it's not that big a deal," Sonny said. "He will never edge you out, and I will always hate him. I won't hate him completely, but he's the man who killed me and took me away from my family."   
  
"Okay. Sonny. I'm just saying..."   
  
"Saying what, Jason?" Sonny asked. "That I'll suddenly love Ric unconditionally because he's my baby brat brother? No way, Jason."   
  
"Okay."   
  
They stood on the beach quietly for a while, each thinking of their own problems. Ric had gone out into the deeper waters, swimming. The solitude of the place and the warmth of the sun was relaxing, but one could not help but think in the setting.   
  
Sonny was actually a little relieved when Ric came back to the beach. He looked a bit happy, for once, and was soaked through and through. He gave Jason a cold glance and then sat beside Sonny, running his hands through his wet hair.   
  
"You know, you can't drown out there," he said. "You can just go under and stay there. But you can't go too deep, or it gets really cold."   
  
Jason and Sonny shared a look. Ric was completely weird.   
  
"You were out there testing that, eh?" Sonny asked.   
  
"Trying to drown yourself or something?" Jason asked.   
  
"No. I was just curious." Ric looked between them. "What? Never been swimming before? Why are you looking at me like that?"   
  
Jason hit Ric on the back of his head. "Why are you suddenly acting like we're old friends?" he asked angrily. "Shut up."   
  
"You're the ones that asked what I was doing!" Ric snapped. "Sonny, we're never going to make it like this. He can't keep hitting me for no rea--"   
  
"Why are you complaining to him?" Jason asked. "Because he's your brother? He hates you as much as I do! Stop trying to use your blood to protect yourself, you coward."   
  
"I'm just _saying_ that if we're stuck together, we can at least...do something...to make it less painful."   
  
"Less painful for who?" Jason asked. "You? Because we're just fine. You're just trying to keep from getting _your_ ass kicked."   
  
"You're a would-be action star, aren't you?" Ric asked him.   
  
Jason went to punch him, but Sonny caught his fist. Jason looked at him with confusion, and Sonny shook his head. Though he hated to, Jason backed down. Ric gave him that smug look of his, and Jason couldn't take it. He got up and stormed back to the house, slamming the door behind himself.   
  
"You should have trained him in anger management instead of assassination," Ric told Sonny.   
  
"...Why _are_ you acting all buddy-buddy with me?" Sonny asked suspiciously.   
  
Ric shrugged. "I'm not. I just...I told you. I can't fight anymore. I won. It's over."   
  
"Doesn't mean you have to automatically start liking me."   
  
"I don't like you," Ric replied. "I stand by what I said, you're a thug. But as much as I don't like you, I don't hate you anymore, either. I'm no thug, but...I know what it is to sacrifice everything and do anything to achieve a goal."   
  
"Trying to compare us now?" Sonny asked incredulously. "We're nothing alike. You're like the nerdy kid who tries to take down the neighborhood bully with traps and tricks. And as much as you insult me for being what I am, you _wish_ you had half my strength and street smarts. But you don't. You're a whiny, _weak_ college boy."   
  
"Why? Because I don't 'kick ass'?" Ric frowned. "I managed to get you, didn't I?"   
  
"You took a cheap shot with your car. Big deal."   
  
"I almost destroyed your marriage!" Ric yelled. "I managed to get you to trust me! Then I killed you!"   
  
"What do you have to prove?" Sonny asked casually. "If you believe your victory, then why bother arguing? Why does what I think even matter to you so much?"   
  
"It doesn't."   
  
"Then why do you keep trying to get me to admit defeat or admit how great you are, Ric?"   
  
"I'm not, I just...." Ric shook his head. "I...can't stand being put down by a hood."   
  
"A hood? Jeez. And you think I like being put down by a brat?"   
  
"I'm not a brat," Ric said. "A brat. I'm a grown man."   
  
"You're still a brat."   
  
"Stop calling me that!"   
  
"You see!" Sonny pointed at him. "You see! It matters to you! Don't say it doesn't. If it didn't, you wouldn't get so upset."   
  
"Oh, street psychology now, wow," Ric said cynically. "You're a man of many talents, really."   
  
"More talents than you."   
  
"You wish." Ric nodded to himself. "You wish you had my education, my choices, my life."   
  
"Keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll believe it one day."   
  
"You're saying you wouldn't have liked to be born rich?" Ric asked.   
  
"No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that I'd rather trade places with anyone else in the world other than you."   
  
"I knew it," Ric said. "You would have hated my life too. You wouldn't have gotten over losing your mother, either."   
  
"Not this again," Sonny groaned. "I wasn't saying--"   
  
"Yes you were! You just admitted it!"   
  
"I might trade places with any motherless rich kid!" Sonny snapped. "Just not _you_ Ric! Not you because you're sick and twisted and dead inside. I would not be _you_. You're pathetic."   
  
"I'm not. And if I'm dead inside it's beca--"   
  
"Of me! Yeah, yeah, YEAH! I know already! Stop saying it!"   
  
"It--"   
  
"SHUT UP!"   
  
Ric opened his mouth, shut it, and nodded in anger to himself. He turned his face to the ocean, eyes glittering with hate and hurt. He fell into a sullen silence, and Sonny smiled in amusement.   
  
"You _do_ care what I think."   
  
Ric gave him a weary look, and then stood up. He brushed sand from his wet clothes and snatched his shirt from the ground, flinging it on. He left Sonny alone and went back to the house.   
  
Inside, he was startled to see Jason staring out the window, _his_ window. It was where he had spent countless hours angsting over his mother's choice and plotting revenge. Now, it went without saying that Jason was doing the same over Courtney and Ric. Ric scowled. There was nothing he could really do about it without risking Jason attacking him. In a huff, he climbed the stairs and slammed into his old room.   
  
In all the years he'd spent here, this room had not changed. The walls were light blue, lined with white. There was a model sailboat high on a shelf, and more smaller ones here and there. Bookshelves stuffed with everything from law books to adventure stories from his childhood lined the room. Ric gazed around quietly.   
  
Even after his revenge was complete, here he was, trapped. Would the past never leave him alone?   
  
Ric lay down on his bed, which was slightly small for him now, and exhaled. He turned his eyes to stare out the window next to it. He felt numb, numb with pain. For hours, he just lay there, forcing himself to feel nothing.   
  
In the early evening, Sonny came up. Ric glanced at him, but said nothing. He wondered why his brother kept seeking him out. Was it to bother him? Or was it something else?   
  
"Regret anything yet?" Sonny asked him.   
  
"Only not killing you sooner," replied Ric, "and keeping myself alive." He sighed. "But no. When I think of all the years I spent here...suffering...it was worth it."   
  
"Suffering? Ah man...you are such a drama queen."   
  
Ric sat up on his bed, looking around his room. He ignored Sonny's comment and said, "I remember every model boat I ever built here. A model a summer, every summer. I can say which age I was when I built any one here."   
  
Sonny stared at him, and then glanced around the room. "...Good for you, Ric."   
  
"Only, none of them are finished," Ric went on. "You see, I'd always take my time making them, and when it was time to go home, I'd argue with my father for more time to finish the model. I just wanted...a few more days here." He looked angry. "But my stepmother would always nag about schedules to be met and things to be done." He reached over and picked up a boat from a shelf. "This one is broken. I was twelve, and I threw it at my nanny." He smiled. "It didn't really hurt her, I just never saw her again. Must have been in a bad mood...something..."   
  
"You _threw_ it at her?" Sonny echoed. "And this from the man who tried to describe me as the demon's seed child..."   
  
Ric put the boat back and shrugged. "I wasn't as evil as you were. I just had my...moods..." He looked over at Sonny. "I went through everyone like water. Nannies, friends, girlfriends...I would dispose of them as often as I pleased. I could never be attatched to anyone. I had to stay focused on my hatred and my goal. So, I might have come off as callous."   
  
"Callous is an understatement..."   
  
"Besides, I didn't want any of them," Ric explained. "The only person I wanted...I could never..."   
  
"So...you blew everyone off because you had no mother?"   
  
"In a...sense." Ric frowned. "But when you put it that way, it sounds so...frivolous." He shook his head. "Everyone thought I was bad."   
  
"You were bad." Sonny crossed his arms. "You still are."   
  
"I know it's cliche, but...I'm just misunderstood," Ric defended himself, lying back on his bed again. "I think you're beginning to understand, though."   
  
"What makes you think that?" Sonny asked, leaning against the wall.   
  
"Well, you didn't come up here because you can't stand me," Ric pointed out. "You keep talking to me when you could just ignore me the way Jason does. But here you are, trying to understand me."   
  
"I understand you, Ric," Sonny said, "it isn't that hard to. You're simple. You're a simple, spoiled brat."   
  
"Not that again," Ric groaned.   
  
"Yes, that. And I didn't come up here to 'understand' you," Sonny said. "All I want to know about you...is what you want from me."   
  
"Why do you think someone always wants something from you?" Ric asked. "I don't want anything. Is there something _you_ want from _me_?"   
  
"Nah. What could I possibly want from you?"   
  
"I don't know. Forgiveness? A brother?"   
  
"Don't make me laugh."   
  
"Then why are you here?" Ric asked, getting angry.   
  
"I'm not! Forget it, I'm gone."   
  
He left. Ric sighed. Truthfully, he did want something from his brother. But he certainly wasn't being very good at getting it.   


  
The evening passed slowly after that. Downstairs, Sonny and Jason poured over the house. Neither was 100% sure that Ric was even Sonny's brother, and they searched for any clue that would prove either Ric or his father had lied. Upstairs, Ric had began mindlessly working on finishing one of his model boats.   
  
That night, it became apparent that even 'ghosts' needed sleep. Sonny took the master bedroom, Jason settled downstairs on the sofa, and Ric drifted off into a troubled sleep in his room. Everyone else was fine, but his slumber did not last long; the place held too many memories to let him sleep peacefully. Ultimately, he got up, and wandered about the halls for a while. He found the master bedroom, and hesitantly crept inside.   
  
Sonny was apparently asleep in the bed, and Ric felt his blood boil. The nerve of him to take his father's bed...he was no Lansing. How typical of Sonny to just take the best for himself.   
  
Ric stood over the bed, staring down at Sonny. Still, this was the only family he had left. He was the only part of...Adella...he had left.   
  
Deep down in the recesses of his heart, Ric both loved and hated Sonny. He wanted his approval as well, and all Sonny's attention on himself. He would not admit these things to himself, but he did tell himself that he needed to accept Sonny on some level for his 'plan' to work.   
  
Ric slowly climbed over Sonny and into the bed. He sat for a moment, looking down at Sonny. He was about to lie down next to him, when Sonny's eyes suddenly shot open. Before Ric had a chance to say or do anything, Sonny toppled him and pinned him down by the wrists.   
  
"What the _hell_ are you doing, Ric?" he asked.   
  
"Sonny! I-I thought you were asleep."   
  
"Think I'd sleep with you around?" Sonny asked. "After what you did to Carly?"   
  
"What? Afraid I'd rape you?" Ric asked. "Or pretend to?"   
  
"I don't know what the hell you'd try to pull, but I don't trust you," Sonny told him. "And...I was right in not trusting you. Here you are."   
  
"You don't understand, it's not...it's not like that," Ric said, struggling. "Would you get off me?"   
  
"Hold on. If it's not some sort of scheme, then why are you here?"   
  
"It's not what you think, Sonny, it really isn't," Ric said. "I used to...well, when my stepmother was away, I'd...when I couldn't sleep, I'd come in here, and lie down...next to my father. And he would...tell me stories about our...our mother..."   
  
"...You're kidding. And tonight?"   
  
"Well, I...I couldn't sleep, and...so..."   
  
"You thought you'd come lie down next to _me_???"   
  
"...Seemed like a good idea at the time..." Ric sighed. "Sonny, I just...I was alone in that room that...I spent so much...you know, I was so miserable in this place sometimes. Memories...and..."   
  
"So you crawled into my bed in the middle of the night???" Sonny held him down tighter. "Are you trying to pull something or are you really just a big baby?"   
  
"Neither," Ric said. "I just...I dunno. I don't know what I was thinking. You're not my father, and you're not a brother either. You're nothing like our mother, either."   
  
"How would you know?"   
  
Ric gave him a hurt look. "Just get off me. Get off me, and let me go."   
  
Sonny climbed off him and Ric sat up. Yet, Ric did not leave. He sat there, blushing slightly, running his hands through his hair and glaring at Sonny.   
  
"So you thought what?" Sonny asked. "You'd come creeping in here and I'd...tell you stories about our mother?"   
  
Ric lowered his gaze. Sonny was not sure whether he believed it or not, but he gave Ric a solid smack nonetheless. Ric flinched visibly.   
  
"Grow up already!" Sonny snapped at him. "You're not a little kid anymore!"   
  
Ric's eyes were weird and faraway. "He...hit me...too..." he said softly, touching his cheek. "Just like that..."   
  
"Who?"   
  
"It wasn't his fault, I mean, I reminded him of her," Ric went on. "And...and...I was asking...why didn't he keep her here and why he couldn't stop her and why he let her go. Why, why, why. I don't blame him..."   
  
"Your father?"   
  
"Nothing has changed," Ric said. "Nothing has changed, I haven't...changed..." Ric buried his face in his hands. "It will never change, no matter what I do. This is it. This is what it will always be."   
  
"You make your own hell, Ric."   
  
"No, it's you!" Ric yelled. "It's always been you! You just couldn't! You just couldn't accept me!"   
  
"Ric." Sonny grabbed him by the shoulders. "Ric! Listen to me. I admit it, I helped ruin your dream family. But it wasn't just me, Ric. Our mother felt she had to leave to protect you. Your father, he never even gave me the chance to accept you."   
  
"You're blaming my father?! My father was perfect!"   
  
"I'm not saying, you know, it was his fault," Sonny told him. "I'm just saying that he could have at least told me about you, let me see you maybe. I might have accepted you, once I saw you."   
  
"You think so?" Ric asked, frowning.   
  
Sonny knew it was a lie; he had seen pictures of Ric as a newborn earlier while searching the house, and he knew that he'd have taken one look at the chubby little blackhaired baby and hated him. But Sonny figured that if Ric believed this, maybe he would ease up a little. So, he went on with the lie. "Yeah, sure. I would have _loved_ a little brother."   
  
"...You're patronizing me."   
  
"No! Really!" Sonny insisted. "Hey, do you really think I could have ever hurt my little brother? Why do you think that all those years later, I gave you a second chance? The second chance _you_ blew by killing _me_."   
  
"..."   
  
"Because I'm your brother, Ric." Sonny _was_ patronizing him, but he did his best to sound sincere. "I'm your brother, and even though I detest you, we've got to have some sort of bond, right?"   
  
Ric knew he was lying, but he decided to take advantage of the pseudo-sweetness. He embraced Sonny very suddenly and very tightly. Sonny's eyes went wide, and he appeared to be at a loss. His first instinct was to push Ric away; it was disgusting to have a grown man clinging to him like a little kid. But he refrained, not wanting to send Ric into his tailspin of anger again.   
  
"Ric." Sonny laughed nervously. "Ric, eh, what are you doing?"   
  
"Just hold me," Ric demanded. "Hold me...like our mother would..."   
  
"Ric, I'm not your mother," Sonny said slowly, barely controlling his annoyance. "Ric, you're being the spoiled brat you hate being called..."   
  
"I don't care! I just want...someone to hold me...anyone." Ric rolled his eyes at his own feigned weakness. The lows he stooped to just to screw up Sonny...   
  
At this point, Ric expected Sonny to push him away and throw him out. But to his surprise, Sonny slowly embraced him back. So there he was, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar in shock, being held by his enemy.   
  
"Ah...er...S-Son...ny..."   
  
"Why do you sound so surprised, Ric?" Sonny asked slyly. "You said you wanted this. For big brother to comfort you? Eh?"   
  
Ric turned bright red, feeling stupid suddenly. Sonny was right, he was acting childish. But damn it, it had only been a part of his plan! Now Sonny was going along with it too easily and he felt...silly.   
  
Yet, something held him back from pulling away. It felt...a little...good? But why? He wasn't _really_ this pathetic. So...then what was this feeling?   
  
"Um....I..." Ric stumbled over his words, licking his dry lips. "Sonny, you...you really...eh..."   
  
"Didn't think I'd actually fall for it, did you?" Sonny held Ric at arms' length. "Ha. You keep getting tangled up in your lies, Ric. Every single time. You don't know what the hell you're doing, Ric. You know? You pretend to be this preppy thug, but...you're just some weird brat."   
  
"Hey, I manage," Ric defended himself. "I managed to take you out, didn't I? I managed to get my hands on your precious slut wife too."   
  
Sonny slammed him down again, glaring murderously at him. Ric just smirked, too eager to piss off Sonny to be afraid.   
  
"Yeah, that's right," he said in his best impression of a tough guy voice. "I might not have raped her...but if I had, she would have _loved_ it. Yeah. _That_ she would have remembered."   
  
"You're real proud of that, aren't you, you sick little prick?" Sonny asked, kneeing Ric's ribs. "EH?! Let's see how hot you feel when you're the one being treated like a _bitch_."   
  
"What? You going to rape me now?" Ric asked disbelievingly. "Going to rape your own brother?"   
  
"Nah. I'm not as sick as you are," Sonny said. "Though if I did, you would _love_ it. Yeah."   
  
"You wish."   
  
But then Sonny called to Jason, and Ric grew uncomfortable. Sonny grinned at him, and Jason came stomping in moments later. It was amazing, Ric thought, how Jason came running no matter what, even in the middle of the night. Sonny climbed out of bed, dragging Ric with him.   
  
"Jason, take this scum..." He shoved Ric at Jason. "...and make him feel the way Carly did."   
  
Ric landed against Jason, and looked up at him worriedly. Jason frowned deeply at him, and then over at Sonny. "You're not saying..."   
  
"I am," Sonny said. "We're all dead and goin' to hell....just do it, Jason."   
  
Ric looked very meek suddenly. Jason held him by the wrists tightly. He glanced over at Sonny nervously.   
  
"What are you saying?!" he asked. "What are you telling him?! Don't-don't give any orders you'll regret Sonny! If you tell him to, it's like doing it yourself!"   
  
"Not quite, Ric." Sonny patted him on the shoulder. "Jason, I don't want him too hurt, just humiliated. Okay? You know what I mean."   
  
"Sonny, I really...."   
  
"Do it. Jason."   
  
With that, he left them. Jason lowered his head, seriously disturbed by his orders. Ric tore from him grasp and ran to the door, but Sonny had locked it from the outside. "Sonny!" Ric shouted, pounding the door. "Sonny! You'll regret this! Sonny!"   
  
"Shut up!" Jason roared at him. "He's not going to listen to you."   
  
So Ric turned on him. "Jason. I know you're Sonny's little go-to man, but this is too much. Come on. Even you can't obey this order."   
  
"I really, _really_ don't want to touch you," Jason replied. "You disgust me. I can't stand the thought of..." He trailed off for a moment and removed his jacket. "But Sonny's right...we got nothing to lose. And you really do got to pay."   
  
"I didn't....I didn't....I mean...I slept in a chair, for chrissake!" Ric exclaimed. "You can't! You wouldn't!"   
  
"I would. I mean, I hate it, but...it would be nice to see you squeal." Jason approached Ric. "I can't murder you." He shrugged. "Might be worthwhile."   
  
"No! No, Jason, trust me, you'll live to regret it," Ric said. "You'll never...forget it. You're already a murderer, Jason, you're going to be a _rapist_ now?!"   
  
Jason shrugged, and Ric tried to bolt past him. But Jason caught him by the wrists again and began dragging the struggling man to the bed. Ric was desperate and he shouted insults at Jason, but was ignored. Jason managed to get him onto the bed and hold him down with one hand while he tore down a curtain and began winding it like a rope with his other hand. Ric thrashed about wildly, but Jason was not worried. He took the curtain and began binding his arms together.   
  
"I thought you were straight!" Ric said desperately. "What-what would Courtney think?! She'd hate you for this! You know she would!"   
  
"Because of you, I'm never going to see Courtney again," Jason pointed out. "What do I really have to lose, Ric?"   
  
"Jasonnn!!!" Ric squirmed and struggled against the makeshift ropes. "You sick son-of-bitch!!! SONNY!!!"   
  
Jason sat on the bed behind Ric, not doing anything for a moment. He wondered whether this was a bluff of Sonny's or not. If not, he hated to think of what he'd be doing.   
  
"Let me go, goddamnit!"   
  
"Shut up, Ric." Jason exhaled and leaned over him. He avoided Ric's kicking legs and reached down to his belt buckle.   
  
"NO! Don't you _dare_! I swear, you'll pay! You'll pay for this!"   
  
"No, I won't."   
  
Jason unbuckled Ric's belt and slid it off. Ric screamed and shouted, still struggling futilly. Jason had to admit that while it wasn't as gratifying as slamming his fist into the man, seeing him so terrified was quite pleasing.   
  
"Jason, let me go," Ric pleaded. "I swear, I won't say another word to you as long as I live. I really don't. I mean, come on, I didn't really rape Carly. You've made your point. I'm...I shouldn't...have...it was stupid...okay? I get it. That's enough."   
  
"Pathetic." Jason now reached and began unzippering Ric's pants, though he made a face as he did. The thought of doing this was nauseating.   
  
"Don't you get it?!" Ric shouted. "I'm sorry! Okay?! Is that what you want, you sick bastard?! Sorry! Goddamnit! You're sick! You're sick!"   
  
Jason agreed that it was sick, but did not say it. Instead, he began sliding Ric's pants down. Ric yelled desperately, but his struggling was becoming weak.   
  
"Jason, Jason....just...don't do this," he begged. "Don't. It's too low even for you. It's too low!"   
  
"By choice, I'd just pound the hell out of you," Jason told him. "But Sonny told me to teach you a lesson about how Carly felt, so...an eye for an eye, Ric."   
  
"I didn't touch Carly!" Ric said wearily. "I didn't even want her! I never even thought about it! I never, never would stoop this low!"   
  
"Yeah you would. For all your prissy behavior and insults, you're the real thug, you know." He braced himself and began reached down to undress Ric completely.   
  
"STOP!!! Just don't do this! Jason! I'll...I'll...you goddamn scumbag!!! You're sick! Pathetic! All you do is what Sonny tells you!!!" Ric drew a shaky breath. "Nooo!!!! Sonny!!!"   
  
And just in time, Sonny came back. Jason was as relieved as Ric was, maybe more. He instantly pulled his hand back and moved away from Ric, who was left squirming and shaking.   
  
"That's enough for now, Jason," Sonny said. He grabbed Ric by the shoulder and rolled him over onto his back. Ric stared up at him with a pitiful, shaken look. Sonny smirked. "I take it you won't be talking about my wife anymore, Lansing?"   
  
Ric was trembling. He turned his face, trying to hide his tearstreaked face. He halfheartedly moved his legs, trying to get his pants back up. "..."   
  
Jason, still a bit disturbed by his own actions, nodded at Sonny. Sonny nodded back. Jason left them alone.   
  
"You're not...answering me," Sonny said after watching Jason leave. He turned to Ric. "You get it now?"   
  
Ric was just leaning in to punch him, but Sonny caught his fist easily.   
  
"Goddamn you!" Ric shouted. "You disguasting bastard!!! I can't...I can't be here with you like this!!! Agh damn it!!! I should have just killed you!"   
  
"You _should have_ left it alone."   
  
Ric was crying in a furious anguish, giving up his attempt to fight for now. Sonny stared at him, and slowly let his wrist go. Ric just ran his hands over his face, shaking.   
  
"...You _were_ trying to pull something earlier," Sonny said slowly, "and you got more than you bargained for."   
  
Ric nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I was. Destroying you is not enough!!! I want to see you _suffer_! Even in death!"   
  
"But the only one I see suffering here is you, Ric," Sonny pointed out. "Me? Well, _I'm_ enjoying seeing _you_ suffer. So you see how this is working out, Ric? It's stupid. **Give it up**."   
  
"I can't!" Ric shook his head. "I can't! I hate you!!!"   
  
Sonny shook his head. "You're so...pathetic."   
  
"YOU ARE!!!" Ric screamed dementedly. He swung at Sonny again, but Sonny restrained him easily. In frustration, he bowed his head and cried out in anguish.   
  
"Oh jeez." Sonny very hesitantly put a hand on Ric's shoulder. "You've got to get a hold of yourself. You think you can't take being stuck with me in death? I won't be able to take being stuck with you! All this bawling is annoying, not to mention unnecessary."   
  
"What do you know about pain?" Ric said bitterly. "You have no soul."   
  
"What do _I_ know about..." Sonny shook his head. "Man, you think you're the only one in the world who's lost someone?"   
  
"No, but..."   
  
"Enough. Just...enough. I don't want to hear any more about poor little suffering Ric." Sonny pointed to the door. "Get back to your own room and just do whatever. I don't want to hear from you."   
  
"Yeah, just get rid of your problems like always, Sonny."   
  
Sonny was sick of him. He grabbed Ric and dragged him out of the room. Ric was too disoriented to do much, and Sonny pushed him down the hall and then back into his room, where he locked him inside. Jason was still lingering in the hall, and watched this quietly.   
  
"DAMN YOU, SONNY!!!" Ric shouted from inside his room. Then, they heard him crying in despair.   
  
Sonny was quiet, but he looked almost sorry. Jason crossed his arms, frowning.   
  
"Why does it bother you?" he asked.   
  
Sonny looked at him.   
  
"Why does Ric's idiotic 'depression' even get to you?" Jason asked. "We've killed people more pathetic than him."   
  
"It doesn't bother me, Jason," Sonny said. "I feel....a _little_ bad for 'ruining his life'...but...I dunno. Maybe I pity him a little. Just a little. He's crazy."   
  
"I'm not crazy!" Ric shouted from the other side of the door.   
  
"Shut up in there!" Sonny kicked the door. Then, he turned back to Jason. "That moron is my brother. Our feud ended stupidly, but...it ended, right? I don't have anything else down here. Do you understand? Just you and him."   
  
"So what?" Jason asked. "Just because we're stuck with him doesn't mean we have to accept him or like him. He's the reason we're in this situation."   
  
"I know that, Jason!" he snapped. "I know, you don't have to keep reminding me. I just can't help feeling I should...help him somehow. I don't know. Maybe it's a way of trying to do _some_ last act of good."   
  
"He's beyond help," Jason said flatly. "And no matter what he says, he'll never accept you as a brother. Never."   
  
"For once, your goon is right!" Ric shouted from his room. Apparently, he was not too wrapped in misery to listen to their conversation. "I'll never accept you! I hate you!"   
  
Sonny kicked the door again. "Then I'll have you beaten into learning when to keep your damn mouth shut!" He turned to Jason. "This is too much. I'm going to sleep. If you hear him, come up here and shut him up for me."   
  
Jason nodded, and finally there was silence. Ric was stubborn, but not completely stupid. Soon, everyone was asleep again.   


  
No one awoke in a good mood the next morning. It was a rainy gray day, and the wind was howling. Jason went outside early to clear his head before anyone else was awake. Sonny milled around the house alone, trying to decide whether to leave Ric in there, well, forever...or to check on him. Finally, out of curiousity, Sonny went upstairs and knocked on the man's door. "Ric?"   
  
There was no reply. Half hoping that Ric had left for good, Sonny unlocked the door and poked inside. Disappointingly enough, Ric was there. He wasn't even asleep; he was sitting on his bed, finishing one of his model boats. He looked calm enough, but when he looked at Sonny, his dark eyes were murderous.   
  
"Morning," Sonny bothered him. "How's my baby brother today?"   
  
"What do you want me to say, Sonny?" Ric asked darkly. "Eh? Why don't you just think of something for me to say? Or better yet, let's skip the dialogue, and you can break my nose again. Or my ribs. Take your pick."   
  
"I didn't come up here to...never mind. Forget it." And he left again.   
  
Ric looked after him for a moment and then went back to his boat. Maybe if he just ignored Sonny, he could get by. Maybe. If the boredom didn't get him first.   
  
Ric finished the boat, looked at it, and then hurled it across the room, where it hit the wall and smashed into pieces. His face lined with sorrow and anger, both of which he could do nothing about. But...he had to get out of this room. He had not slept last night, and was beginning to hate his old bedroom. So, as he'd done a million times before, he went over and opened his window wide. He was a bit bigger than the last time he'd done this, but managed to squeeze out the window nonetheless. Outside, he climbed down the side of the house and landed on the beach.   
  
"What the hell are you doing?"   
  
Ric turned. "Ugh. Jason."   
  
"..." Jason just gave him his usual dead stare. "Trying to cut out? Go ahead. Go as far as you can."   
  
"I'd leave if I could, you know that," Ric replied. He ran his hands through his hair, exhaling. "But why try now, right? No, I just came out here to...walk around mindlessly, like you're doing. Ah, wait, but that's what you _always_ do."   
  
"Ric, shut up."   
  
"Didn't see that coming," Ric muttered sarcastically. However, he left it at that. Ignoring Jason, he strode out onto the shore. It was cold, so he didn't walk into the water, but he sat before it, staring into the horizon blankly. A million thoughts were running through his mind, but he forced himself to ignore them. Eventually, he lay on his back and stared up into the gray clouds rolling by.   
  
"Tide's going to take you away."   
  
When Ric opened his eyes, Sonny was looked down at him. Ric sighed.   
  
"You _do_ keep seeking me out," he said.   
  
"Okay, so I do." Sonny sat beside him. "It's boring around here."   
  
"It's not the place, it's the company," Ric replied. "I used to have fun here all summer."   
  
"I thought you said you suffered."   
  
Ric looked at him sullenly. Sonny just laughed.   
  
"You've made a hobby out of torturing me," Ric said. "It's sickening. You're a sadist."   
  
"I can be," Sonny admitted. "But you're easy to pester. You must be a masochist or at least a dumb ass."   
  
"You're right, I should just ignore you," Ric agreed. "Especially after last night."   
  
"Hey, you know I wouldn't ever let Jason go through with something like that," Sonny said. "Jason would hate it."   
  
"Then, why wouldn't _you_ do it?" Ric asked, an odd look in his eyes.   
  
"I'm your brother, stupid," Sonny said. "I wouldn't do anything like that. Come on."   
  
"Are you sure?" Ric asked. "You absolutely wouldn't? Even if I _had_ raped Carly?"   
  
"What are you getting at, Ric?" Sonny asked. "Do you _want_ me to rape you?"   
  
"Well, you've tortured me in about every other way," Ric said. "Why not sexually?"   
  
"Ah ha. So _that's_ what you're after," Sonny said knowingly. "You want me to rape you, so the guilt can drive me nuts. Man, you really are willing to sacrifice yourself to get at me. You're one sick guy."   
  
"So are you. We're even." Ric turned to him, edging close to him. "So, how about it? The ultimate form of sadism? Sonny? Why don't you just go ahead? Rape your little brother."   
  
"I'm not as sick as you are, Ric," Sonny said, pushing him away. "There is no way in hell that I'm going to ever touch you in a remotely sexual way. We're freaking family."   
  
"Blood doesn't matter anymore," Ric said, "we're dead! So you want to hurt me? Go ahead. I dare you. Forget Jason and just do it yourself. Or are you scared to?"   
  
"No, I'm just not as low as you," Sonny said. "How can you possibly say stupid things like that? Are you brain dead?"   
  
"I just don't care anymore," Ric replied. "I'm dead because of you. I have nothing. You've taken everything away from me, so why not take more? Just go ahead and keep hurting me."   
  
"Giving up?"   
  
"Why not?" Ric said. "I won the biggest battle. The rest doesn't matter." He moved over Sonny, kneeling over his brother with a derranged look. "So go ahead. Jason went into the forest; we're alone. Stop playing things halfway. If you want to hurt me, then _hurt_ me, you goddamn sadist."   
  
"You know, you're a slick one." Sonny pushed Ric off. "You figure sex is easier to take than pain, even if it's your own brother. Well, too bad for you, coz I'm not biting. What? Think your pretty face is irresistable? Give me a break."   
  
"You're scared to hurt me," Ric said, still on his knees in front of Sonny.   
  
"I'm not scared to hurt you, Ric, I just don't want to hurt you in that way." Sonny kicked at him. "Besides, you'd see it as another victory, so why would I give you the satisfaction?"   
  
"Fine. Keep refusing," Ric scoffed. "But I always get what I want, and you'll be worn down eventually. Then once it's done, you'll regret it forever. You'll finally realize how truly low a scumbag you are."   
  
"Heh. Look who's talking." Sonny looked at him. "Tell me something, Ric. What do you think our mother would say, seeing all this? Do you think she'd regret leaving you now, after what you turned out to be? And did you really grow up thinking she'd love you that much, being the spoiled brat you were?"   
  
"She'd have loved me," Ric insisted. "She loved a demon like you."   
  
Sonny looked at him. "She would have loved you, but you would have bugged her, you know. But the way you are now, she'd be...so disappointed in you."   
  
"Well, thanks to you, I don't have to worry about that," Ric said.   
  
"You don't worry about it because you do whatever you want," Sonny told him. "Even if a parent is dead, you should still do your best to honor them. You call this honoring our mother, you brat?"   
  
"Sacrifices must be made sometimes," Ric said callously.   
  
"You have an excuse for everything, don't you?" Sonny observed, a bit amused. "Well, I'm just waiting for the day when the excuses run out." He stood, giving Ric a small kick on his bottom, and walked off.   
  
Ric turned red and jumped to his feet. It was beginning to rain now, and the wind was whipping his clothes about his body. He followed Sonny into the mist of the rain, back to the porch of the house. Sonny was leaning on the porch fence, staring out into the day. Ric came up beside him, soaked and saying nothing.   
  
"Look, a drowned dog," Sonny commented without even looking at Ric.   
  
"I hate you."   
  
"This is getting old, Ric."   
  
Ric agreed, but said nothing. He followed Sonny's gaze, looking rather sullen. "I used to spend so much time looking down at the beach," he said. "I used to imagine walking down it with her. Sometimes, I would run down there, thinking maybe my imagination would make her appear there. But of course...she never did..."   
  
"Try not to think about it, Ric."   
  
"How can I not? This house, the beach...and your damn eyes..." Ric shook his head. "How can I not think about it?"   
  
"Fine. Think about it all you want," Sonny said. "Just don't talk about it. You love this place. Enjoy it. Go find something to do."   
  
"I'm not an innocent kid anymore," Ric said, "I can't just go skipping around finding things to do."   
  
"You did yesterday," Sonny said. "Went swimming and everything."   
  
"It's raining, stupid," Ric said in annoyance. "I'm going inside to see if ghosts can eat."   
  
"Just for calling me stupid, I'm coming along," Sonny said, giving Ric a shove inside the house.   
  
"By all means, Sonny."   
  
Apparently, ghosts could eat, since the two helped themselves easily to coffee. Ric insisted that he'd never made himself a cup of coffee in his life, and left Sonny to do it. Soon, the rivals were sitting at the table together.   
  
"...Are you absolutely sure you didn't set this all up?" Ric inquired. "I don't feel very dead."   
  
"We're dead, Ric."   
  
"...Are you _sure_?" Ric asked. "Maybe...maybe we're not dead or alive. Maybe we're all in a coma or something. You know, that place where they say you go between the worlds?"   
  
"Hm. Maybe." Sonny nodded. "But why here? If we were sent to some sort of recreation of this place, then why?"   
  
"It was the last thing on all our minds?" Ric guessed. "Or, if you want to get _religious_, perhaps God is keeping us here so we can work out our issues before returning to life."   
  
"Never thought about it, but you might be right."   
  
Ric smiled. "In which case, we will be here forever, because I'm never letting go of my hatred for you."   
  
"Sometimes, I really want to hurt you, Ric."   
  
Ric jumped on this. "So go ahead, Sonny," he said with a sick grin.   
  
"Not like that, you freak." Sonny looked at him. "You're dead bored, aren't you?"   
  
"...Yes."   
  
"So am I, but I'm not going crazy," Sonny told him. "Listen, Ric, maybe we should just try and work things out. I don't want to, I'd rather ignore you, but...maybe your theory is right. It's worth trying, right? Maybe we can get out of here."   
  
"No."   
  
"No?"   
  
Ric smiled evilly. "No. I will _not_ work anything out with you or Jason or anyone else. If this is only a temporary hell, then it's mine, and I'm keeping you _both_ here with me."   
  
"Oh come on, you selfish little brat! Don't be stupid!"   
  
"That's it, Sonny," Ric encouraged him, "keep the hatred going. We'll _never_ get out of here." He laughed.   
  
"Weren't you the one crying last night about how you can't be stuck with me forever?" Sonny asked incredulously. "Wasn't that you?"   
  
"It's different if I'm in control," Ric replied. He took a sip of his coffee. "Mm. I'm the one with the power, I'm the one in charge. It's all riding on me. Ha! No way I'd leave now!"   
  
"Damn it. You spoiled, selfish, malicious little..."   
  
"Music to my ears, Sonny."   
  
Sonny stood up, knocking the entire table to the side. Ric's eyes widened as he was grabbed and slammed against the wall, chair and all. Sonny stood over him with that glint in his eyes, but Ric just grinned.   
  
"Go ahead, hit me!" he snapped. "That's all you can ever do! Just hit me!"   
  
"Okay."   
  
And Sonny punched him, knocking him to the floor. Ric landed hard on his stomach, blinking and making small, injured noises. Still, he attempted to laugh, though it was a weak attempt. He felt Sonny kneel beside him, and grab him by the back of his shirt.   
  
"You _punk_," Ric spat vehemently.   
  
"Why can't you just learn to _shut up_?" Sonny asked, amazed by Ric's stubbornness. He went to punch Ric more, but pity held him back. Instead, he broadened his hand and smacked Ric hard on the bottom a few times. "Just **keep your mouth shut**."   
  
Ric jumped in surprised. "What the _hell_ are you doing?! Stop that!"   
  
Sonny stopped after a few moments, released Ric, and stood. Ric sat up slowly, and for the first time, he looked abashed. He straightened his clothes and looked up at Sonny with an upset expression.   
  
"Ah ha...I think I've found something Mr. Lansing doesn't like," Sonny said in realization. "Being that you're such a spoiled kid, I should have guessed..."   
  
Ric turned his face, embarrassed. "Shut up," he muttered crossly.   
  
"Hah. You're cute sulking."   
  
He patronizingly tousled Ric's black hair and left him there. Ric scowled and fixed his hair. Then, he followed after Sonny in a huff.   
  
"I'm not a kid!" he yelled at him, barging into the living room. "You can't just sp--spa--" He sputtered on the word upon seeing Jason there and trailed off into a fake cough.   
  
Jason stared at him. He would have asked what was wrong with him, if he'd have cared. But he didn't. After spending so much hated time around the man, Jason saw that Ric was quite a highstrung guy. Before, he'd had Ric pegged for a cool, coldhearted scoundrel, but in reality he was nothing more than some hyper, sniveling fool. He was always making hateful faces at Sonny and went back and forth between reminiscing wistfully and spewing insults. Actually, Jason thought, he vaguely resembled that other brat, Brenda, whom he'd also detested.   
  
But since Sonny had once upon a time loved Brenda...Jason began to worry. If Sonny had been able to love someone like that without any family ties to force him into it, then he'd be susceptible to growing a soft spot for Ric. Maybe. If he did...Ric would move right in. And then what? Well, they couldn't die, but Jason could not stand the thought of Sonny loving Ric, whether it was brotherly love or anything else.   
  
Jason blinked and his mind focused on his surroundings again. Ric and Sonny were yelling at each other. Apparently, Ric was upset over something that he refused to mention. Jason shook his head. This scene was tiresome.   
  
"**What** is the problem?!" he finally yelled at Ric. Then, he thought better of it, and raised his hands. "Never mind. I don't want to hear it. Just shut up, Ric."   
  
"Stop shutting me up!" Ric snapped. "This is _my_ home, so I can say whatever I damn well want!"   
  
"Fine." Jason made a fist. "Keep talking."   
  
Ric eyed him, and quieted down. Still, he gave Sonny a nasty look as he pushed past him. He settled into the corner with the window and gazed out silently.   
  
"Like training a dog," Sonny said in amusement.   
  
"Harder," Jason replied. "In fact, nearly impossible."   
  
"That's Ric," Sonny said, looking at him, "impossible."   
  
Yet, Ric was starting to grow on Sonny. Well, Sonny enjoyed tormenting him greatly, in any case. Perhaps it was how flustered and furious Ric got that was satisfying. Or perhaps it was the pleasure of knowing how much Ric deserved it. Whatever it was, Ric had been right, Sonny _had_ made a hobby out of torturing him. After all, what else was there to do in death, or wherever they were?   
  
**End of Chapter Two**


	3. Chapter Three

  


**_The Sweetest Pain_**

  
  
**Chapter Three**   
  
"Let's go boating."   
  
By the time afternoon rolled in, all three men were bored and sitting in the living room. Sonny was sitting on an armchair, as brooding and silent as the storm outside. Jason was lying on the couch, reading something. Ric sat on the floor, fiddling with the model boat he'd broken earlier. Now, he raised his head, waiting for a response to his suggestion.   
  
"It's raining stupid," Sonny replied, shooting Ric's words from before right back at him.   
  
Ric shrugged it off. "It's not like we can get sick."   
  
"No, Ric. I don't want to go boating with you." Sonny glanced at him. "Keep playing with your toy boat."   
  
"It isn't a toy," Ric said, irked. "Though of course, you're going to berrate anything too complicated for you."   
  
"Complicated?" Sonny slid onto the floor and snatched the boat from Ric. "Don't make me laugh. You're the one not painting it right."   
  
"It's fine," Ric replied. "What's wrong with it?"   
  
"This is hanging off." Sonny began messing with the sail. "Are you stupid or something? Can't even play with your toys right."   
  
"It's not a toy!" Ric snapped. "What would you know about it anyway? I doubt you had anything more than a single Hot Wheel as a kid."   
  
"Doesn't mean I don't have common sense. But you, you're impatient and reckless. It's the reason you're not good at anything." He tossed Ric's boat back at him and went over to the window.   
  
The room fell into silence again for a little while. Outside, the storm began to pick up again. Some time later, lightning flashed and the sound of thunder boomed overhead. At this, Ric jumped.   
  
"Scared?" Jason asked without bothering to look at him.   
  
"Don't be stupid." Ric finished his boat and set it down on the table to dry. Then, he got up and walked over to Sonny. He stood a bit too close to his brother, leaning his face over his shoulder. "I like the rain. It's sexy."   
  
Sonny glanced at him, frowning. "Would you back up?"   
  
"Am I making you uncomfortable?"   
  
Jason shifted and looked over at them. "What are you doing, Lansing?"   
  
"Jealous?" Ric shot at him. "Mind your own business, Morgan."   
  
"Ric's devised a new plan, Jason," Sonny explained, pushing Ric aside. "This one is great, it really is. You see, he's got it in his head that if I...rape him...the guilt will torment me forever. So, he's acting all queer now."   
  
"That's disgusting," Jason sneered.   
  
"You two are no strangers to disgusting," Ric replied. "But never mind. I have better things to do than argue." He turned to Sonny. "If you don't want to come boating, then I'll go by myself."   
  
He left, and Sonny stared after him. He debated with himself for a moment, and then began to follow him.   
  
"Sonny!"   
  
Sonny glanced at Jason.   
  
"Why?" Jason asked. "Why are you following him? He's only going to keep bugging you."   
  
"Yeah well...it's nothing I can't handle."   
  
He left. Jason sighed, shaking his head. Every single trap Ric set, Sonny rushed into. Why? Didn't he see what was coming?   


  
"So, you came after all."   
  
Sonny met Ric on the shore. Ric was climbing onto a fairly large boat. He looked down at Sonny with strange eyes.   
  
"Only to tell you not to go out," Sonny replied. "I don't like the idea of you sailing out alone."   
  
"Afraid I'll somehow get away?"   
  
"Yeah." Sonny gestured for him to get off the boat. "Get down here."   
  
"No," Ric said, lifting his chin. "I should just sail out, and never come back. I don't care how far I can go, as long as I'm away from you."   
  
"You're not..." Sonny climbed onto the boat and stood beside him. "You're not going anywhere, Ric. If your theory is true and you're the key to getting the hell out of here, there's no way I'm letting you leave."   
  
"I don't need your permission!" Ric yelled over the storm. "I'm the one person you _can't_ boss around, Sonny!"   
  
"I'm not here to give you permission," Sonny replied. "I'm here to bring you back, even if you're kicking and screaming the whole way."   
  
Lightning flashed, and Ric's eyes widenened slightly. "You think you're my father now?!" he asked angrily. "You're _not_ my father! My father was a good man! Don't you dare talk to me as if you're him!"   
  
"Ric, I'm not going to fight with you on this."   
  
Sonny grabbed him by the arm and began to pull him off the boat. Ric hit his arm away and stumbled. They both fell off the boat, landing hard on the beach. Sonny angrily jumped on top of Ric.   
  
"Damn you!" he shouted at him. "Stop being so difficult!"   
  
"I'm not going back there with you!" Ric snapped. It was cold, and he was beginning to shake. "Get off me! Or-or do you like the view from up there?"   
  
Sonny slapped him for this, twice. Ric yelped.   
  
"Agh! Ngh....that's...all you can ever do, isn't it?" he said. "You're weak. You pretend to be ruthless, but you're weak."   
  
"Why do you beg to be tortured, Ric?" Sonny turned Ric over onto his stomach and held him there. "Is this what you want? To be...raped...by your own brother?"   
  
"Go ahead!" Ric challenged him, looking demented. "Go ahead and do it! Just like you made him!"   
  
Sonny froze. "What was that?"   
  
Ric was shaking now, crying and laughing. "Just go ahead!"   
  
Sonny turned him over again and looked down at him. Ric turned his face.   
  
"Ric," Sonny said slowly. He took Ric's chin in his hand and turned his face towards his own. "Ric! I made who do what to you?"   
  
Ric shook his head, refusing to look at Sonny. "..."   
  
"Ric, answer me!"   
  
"It wasn't his fault, okay?!" Ric yelled. Tears streamed down his face, mingling with the rain. "It wasn't his fault. It was your fault! Everything is your fault!!!"   
  
"Ric, what are you talking about?"   
  
"It wasn't his fault!" Ric sobbed. "He was a good man! He loved me! It was you! It was your fault!"   
  
Horror began to light Sonny's eyes, as he started to realize what Ric was trying to say. "Your father?" he asked seriously. "What wasn't his fault? Talk to me, Ric!"   
  
Ric just shook his head. "..."   
  
"He hurt you?"   
  
Ric lowered his eyes, which were dead inside. Sonny suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He knew those eyes, and he knew that look. He wanted to know more, but didn't know whether he should ask or not. He slowly got off of Ric and let him go. Ric sat up, rubbing his eyes.   
  
"It's not your business," he said shakily. "Just shut up and leave me alone. Leave me..."   
  
"Ric." Sonny took Ric's face in his hand. "Is that why you're so psychotic? Your father did something to you?"   
  
"Leave it alone, Sonny," Ric said firmly. "Just leave it. No one hurt me. My father would never...hurt me...on...on purpose. He...he loved me." He frowned.   
  
"Ric, what did...Trevor Lansing do to you?"   
  
Ric shook his head. "He didn't do anything! He was my father! Stop accusing my father of being as twisted as you are!"   
  
"Listen to me, Ric." Sonny squeezed his face in both hands. "I didn't do anything to you. Yeah, I smack you around a bit, but I've never seriously hurt you. Besides, you ask for it. But listen to me. If your father did do what I think he did...then that makes him lower than you think I am, _and_...and....it isn't my fault. You get that? It is no one's fault but your scum father."   
  
Ric's face twitched, and Sonny saw his resolve beginning to fade. "It wasn't...his fault," Ric argued weakly. "He loved me. He loved me! It was your fault! If you hadn't taken her away, it...never would have..."   
  
"It would have happened, or something else would have," Sonny told him. "He might have hurt our mother, Ric. And he couldn't have loved you very much if he raped you."   
  
"No...no!" Ric pushed Sonny's hands away. "No! He wasn't like that! He was...hurt...and...and I reminded him...Every time he looked at me, he remembered her! Every time! It was like slow torture! He couldn't...help it..."   
  
"He could have!" Sonny snapped, angry for Ric. "There's no excuse to do that to your own son! Come on! It's sick! He was a sick man, Ric."   
  
Ric shook his head. "No! No, he wasn't!"   
  
Sonny grabbed Ric by the shoulders. "He was, Ric!" he told him firmly. "You know. Just think about it. Did he touch you? Ric?" He put a hand on Ric's chest, and felt the man shudder. "Did you tell him to stop? Did you cry?"   
  
"Don't touch me! It wasn't his fault!"   
  
Ric suddenly punched Sonny square on the face, stood, and ran off down the beach. Sonny swore, but didn't go after him. He'd be back soon enough.   


  
Sonny returned to the house, where he sat for a long time alone, staring out the window. He did not even speak to Jason. Finding out what had happened to Ric had made his entire perspective change. He could no longer hate Ric even a little bit. And though his rational mind knew that none of the events had been his fault...part of him felt guilty; everyone he was connected to always suffered in some way.   
  
Night fell, and Ric had still not returned. Jason had gone to sleep, and still Sonny waited anxiously for his brother. Part of him was even a bit worried. He had just been about to go out and find Ric, when the door could be heard opening. Ric came in moments later, soaked and shivering. Sonny turned to him, and their gaze met. There was something different in Ric's eyes, perhaps a lack of hatred. Sonny hoped he'd come to his senses.   
  
"My father never would have hurt me on purpose."   
  
Sonny shut his eyes and shook his head. "Ric..."   
  
"Shut up!" Ric yelled. "He was a good man, and he loved me more than anything. It was just...that one time, that one night. The memories were too strong, and he missed my mother. I saw him...I saw him see her in me, in my eyes. He went dead, do you understand? His mind went blank, and his body took over. He didn't mean it."   
  
"Ric, I know it's easier to blame me than it is to blame your own father," Sonny said slowly, "but...you have to accept it for what it is. Your father raped you. He was a rapist."   
  
Ric shook his head. "No. _No_."   
  
"If you want to blame something else, then blame his insanity," Sonny said. "Don't blame me. If he was crazy enough to rape his son, Ric, then he would have snapped at one point or another, even if our mother had stayed with him."   
  
"He was....a good man..." Ric said distantly. He slumped down onto the sofa. "It just broke him. It broke him when she left." He put a hand over his eyes. "And I asked, I pushed him....I kept on...asking..."   
  
Sonny came over to the sofa and sat beside him. "It wasn't your fault, Ric. It wasn't your fault or our mother's or mine. Do you understand?"   
  
"It wasn't my father's either," Ric said. "He...loved..." But for once, he could not bring himself to believe the words. He bowed his head.   
  
"Ric..." Sonny put a hand on his shoulder. "Just...try and believe me. I never, _never_ deny blame, if something is my fault. But you got to believe me, this wasn't my fault. Your father was a grown man, and even if he was grieving, he was responsible for his actions. All fathers grieve at one point or another, but they usually keep their heads for their children's sake. Your father lost it, and he took it out on you. It was his choice."   
  
Ric crumbled onto Sonny's shoulder. "We could have had a family," he sobbed. "It didn't have to be ugly! It was you! It was your fault! You couldn't just let it be! You couldn't just...love me! It-it never would have happened!"   
  
"Maybe, maybe not," Sonny said softly. "But something else would have."   
  
"My father wasn't like that," Ric insisted. "He never, he never hurt anyone. It was that one time, just that one time, Sonny."   
  
"Don't you think it was enough?"   
  
Ric looked at him tearfully. He drew a shuddery breath, humiliated to be acting this weak. But Sonny no longer looked judgemental or scornful; he was actually....understanding. It was horribly ironic, though, that after all his plans to break Sonny, Sonny had ultimately broken him.   
  
"I don't want to do this," Ric said, wiping his eyes. "Not with you. Not with anyone."   
  
"Just cry, Ric," Sonny said simply. "Destroy the place. Yell. Just let it go already."   
  
"How can you say that?"   
  
"Because you have to, Ric," Sonny told him. "You have to, or you'll be miserable forever."   
  
"Street psychology again," Ric said scornfully, sniffling. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."   
  
"I know not to...let even the worst pain or guilt stop me from living my life," Sonny replied. "It isn't being cold, Ric, it's being practical."   
  
"That night is _not_ my problem with you," Ric said now. "I hate you simply because you destroyed our mother's life. My father, just leave him out of everything. He made mistakes, but...he has nothing to do with this."   
  
"He has everything to do with it," Sonny said. "His obsession or whatever with our mother got you hurt, and that started _your_ obsession."   
  
Ric shook his head. "They're two separate issues. My father's...mistake...is irrelevant."   
  
"Oh, irrelevant, is it?" Sonny shook his head. "Don't think that lying in legal terms is going to make me believe you."   
  
"You know what? I couldn't care less whether you believe me or not," Ric said wearily. "Just leave me alone. I know you hate me, but just....leave me alone for one goddamn minute."   
  
"I don't hate you, Ric."   
  
Ric glanced at him. "No? Why not? And _don't_ attribute it to pity. I don't want the pity of a hood."   
  
"You know, if you could just stop being uppity for one minute, maybe we could settle this mess and get out of here."   
  
"I don't want to leave," Ric sighed. "Not yet."   
  
"_Why_ not?"   
  
Ric shrugged. "I don't know. There's something about being here with you alone...well, relatively alone."   
  
"....."   
  
"You know what my real plan was, Sonny?"   
  
"The one to destroy me?"   
  
Ric nodded. He smiled a little. "I planned to...work for you, edging Jason out. I wanted you to trust me more than anyone, as I secretly took everything away from you behind the scenes. I wanted....to seduce you away from Carly. Then, when everyone and everything was gone....I wanted to be the only one left....so I could....tell you at the last minute that I was your brother."   
  
"Jeez, that's sick."   
  
"I pictured out the whole thing a million times in my mind," Ric said distantly. "It was a great plan."   
  
"I really do pity you, Ric."   
  
Ric turned to him. "Think I could have done it?"   
  
"Seduce me? No way."   
  
"Why not?" Ric asked. "You love Jason."   
  
"Not like that."   
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"....."   
  
"So, why not me?" Ric asked. "I mean, if you didn't know I was your brother. You were always making cracks about my looks. I'm better looking than Jason. So, why not me?"   
  
"First of all, you're slime, and I never trusted you," Sonny explained. "Secondly...."   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"Well, you're a guy," Sonny said. "And...I love Carly more than I love anyone."   
  
"It's not cheating unless it's with another woman," Ric rationalized.   
  
"They teach you that in Harvard too?" Sonny asked, glancing at him. "It _is_ cheating, no matter who it's with. Besides, you're not....I never...."   
  
"Saw me in _that way_?" Ric smirked. "Don't lie. You may not have trusted me, but you like difficult people. If things had gone the right way after you hired me, I'd have had you in a few weeks."   
  
"You flatter yourself, Ric."   
  
"You lie, Sonny." He turned to him. "So, how about now? How do you feel about me now?"   
  
"You're a pitiful scumbag."   
  
"You know what I mean." Ric inched closer to Sonny. "Is that attraction still there?"   
  
"It never was." Sonny eyed Ric's hand as it slid onto his chest. "You know, why are you after this? Do you think it will give you power over me, getting me into bed with you?"   
  
"You haven't completely conquered someone until you've slept with them," Ric said. What he did not say was how he was coming to terms with the idea of not really being dead, and how much sleeping with Sonny now would help him in the future.   
  
"You're sick." Sonny pushed Ric's hand away. "Your own brother...."   
  
"Blood doesn't matter here, wherever we are," Ric said. "This could all be a dream for all we know. Besides, we're only half brothers."   
  
"You're--"   
  
Ric suddenly interrupted Sonny by pressing his mouth against his. Sonny's eyes went round, and Ric's kiss was slightly awkward. But he was stubborn, and he pressed closer to his brother.   
  
Until Sonny pushed him off. Ric fell back against the arm of the sofa, flushed and smiling in a demented excitement. Sonny gaped at him, his eyes glittering.   
  
"What the hell are you doing?!"   
  
Ric laughed. "Was that good, Sonny? You want more?"   
  
"Ric, I'm warning you...."   
  
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Ric kneeled over Sonny, leaning his face close. "Come on, let's forget everything. It's just us. Forget everything."   
  
Ric kissed Sonny again, even though he expected to be smacked or pushed away or punched at any moment. But surprisingly, Sonny kissed him back. He kissed him and then pushed his face away by the forehead. Ric smiled nervously at him.   
  
"You really want this, do you?" Sonny asked curiously.   
  
"Yes, I...do," Ric said slowly, looking a little surprised. He kissed Sonny lightly. "....You....I....I want to see..." He broke off for a moment, thought about it, and then went on. "I want to see if there's anything, _anything_ good about you. To know you completely and see....if....I can understand why our mother chose you....and why my father....loved her..."   
  
"You stupid, sick, twisted....brat...."   
  
Sonny suddenly overcame Ric and pinned him down on the sofa. Maybe it was pity...or maybe it was something else...but he was drawn to this damned man. He _was_ pretty, but more than that....he was...sexy. Or perhaps it was the fact that Ric, being a man, would be a nice outlet for all his anger and annoyance. Not to mention that Ric was easy and enjoyable to torture; he was so cute when he was distressed.   
  
"Come on, Sonny," Ric said. "Aren't you a little curious? Haven't you wanted this since before you found out we're brothers? You have, I've seen it in those transparent eyes of yours. So, just forget everything. Nothing matters now. We're dead. Even if there is the slightest chance of going back to life...do you really think your God will let you take it?" He shook his head. "No, Sonny, we're too evil. You know it. We're going to hell anyway."   
  
"We're not...dead yet, Ric."   
  
"But we will be!"   
  
Sonny pressed his hands on Ric's shoulders harder. "There will be no coming back from something like this, you know. If we live or die, you know, we'll both have to face this every day. Me, I'm selfish, and I really don't believe I'm going back. But what about you? Don't you at least want to think about it? What about Liz Webber?"   
  
"Liz?" Ric looked slightly sad. ".....She hates me."   
  
"So? You going to destroy any chance of being with her? Because you know you won't be able to be with anyone innocent after this."   
  
Ric shrugged. "I'm selfish too. Besides, we're dead. You will never see Carly, and I will never see Liz, ever again."   
  
"Giving up hope?"   
  
"What hope?" Ric smiled. "I've never had any hope." He grabbed Sonny's arm tightly. "All I ever hoped was for this anyway. To....conquer you this way...."   
  
"I won't be conquered, Ric." Sonny held Ric down harder. "You're the one that's going to be the--"   
  
"Would you stop wasting time?" Ric snapped. He somehow wriggled out of Sonny's grasp enough to lean his face up and kiss him wildly. Sonny kiss him back, and the two rolled off the small couch and onto the floor.   
  
"You're absolutely sure, Ric?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm sure!" Ric said, tearing Sonny's shirt open. "Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself."   
  
"...I worry about you, Ric. But...ah well..."   
  
He held Ric down firmly and ripped off his shirt. Ric looked slightly nervous, but was, for the most part, thrilled. Sonny figured that maybe this would let him think he'd won, maybe he'd let it go after this. In any case, it felt amazingly good for the sin it was.   
  
"Ah!" Ric cried out as Sonny bit into his neck. He laughed a little. "As vicious as I expected."   
  
"You haven't seen vicious yet, Ric."   
  
Sonny kissed him, and Ric wrapped his arms around his brother, tearing at his clothes. He was trying, Sonny could see, to roll his way to being on top; Sonny slammed him down on his back firmly a few times, and Ric stopped. He laughed.   
  
"Okay, okay," he conceeded. "But you'd better not disappoint."   
  
"Disappoint? You think I'd disappoint?"   
  
"Well, Carly may stroke your ego, but it's guys who can _really_ judge each other best," Ric said meanly. "And if you've ever been with Jason, it doesn't matter, because he'd think anything coming from you is the best."   
  
"Man, shut up. Do you even talk during sex???"   
  
Sonny flipped him over onto his stomach roughly. Ric blushed, and squirmed a little. Sonny could tell by his breathing how nervous he was.   
  
"You going to see this through..." Sonny harshly pulled Ric's body up into a sort of kneeling position. "...._all the way_, Ric?"   
  
Ric drew a shaky, nervous breath. "Y-yes. Of course."   
  
"You sure? You seem kind of scared," Sonny bothered him. He slapped his hand down on the man's upturned bottom. "We can stop if you're scared, little brother."   
  
"I'm not scared!" Ric yelled angrily. "You're the one that keeps hesitating! If you're going to, then--aagghh!"   
  
"Hmph. What's the matter, Ric?" Sonny asked cruelly, pulling Ric closer. "Where's your confidence?"   
  
"Nghhh....you bastard...."   
  
Sonny smirked. Ric squirmed and kicked, eventually cried out. Whether it was in pain or pleasure, or both, Sonny did not care. He just wanted to _hurt_ him, to see him wriggle and yelp. It was cruel, but he didn't care. They were damned anyway.   
  
By the time he released him, Ric was shaking. He lay on the floor, looking dazed and breathing hard, and looked at Sonny with a mixture of defeat and confusion on his boyish face. Sonny laughed at him and ran a hand through Ric's hair, which was on end.   
  
"What's that face for?" he asked. "Was I a disappointment?"   
  
"N....no...." Ric sat up very slowly. "Agh.....you....I...."   
  
"Yes?"   
  
Ric smiled a little. "I got you to...screw your own brother."   
  
"And?"   
  
"And....." Ric inched next to Sonny, putting a hand on the man's chest. His eyes were glittering and searching as he looked at Sonny. "I don't know....I feel...."   
  
Sonny kissed him and took his face in his hand. "Ric, are you okay? I feel kind of guilty, like...I took advantage of what your father did to you. Do you feel that too?"   
  
Ric shook his head. "No, I....I feel weird. Like....damn....almost like I....l..."   
  
"L-ove me?"   
  
Ric slid into Sonny's arms. His body was warm and sweaty, and he felt good to hold. He sighed, leaning his face on Sonny's shoulder.   
  
"I don't hate you."   
  
Sonny smiled. "Well, that's a start." He kissed Ric shortly. "You finally figure things out? You sorry at all?"   
  
"Sorry? Ha!" Ric laughed, shaking his head. "I'm _not_ sorry. While my father's....actions....might have thrown off my judgement for a while....everything was still _your_ fault, and I don't regret making you pay for it."   
  
"Aw man....what am I going to _do_ with you, Ric?" Sonny asked wearily.   
  
Ric straddled Sonny's lap, and their faces were level. Ric smirked. "Why don't you _punish_ me, Sonny?" he said nastily. "I've been such a bad boy to you, haven't I?"   
  
"You have," Sonny agreed. "Though running me and Jason over goes beyond 'bad', Ric."   
  
"Heh." Ric kissed him. ".......Mm.....for someone so evil himself, you are are freaked out by me, Sonny."   
  
"I'm not a brat, besides....I only attack when I'm forced to." He swatted Ric. "**Forced to**, Ric. I don't make up vendettas against people who I've never met."   
  
"Such a righteous hood," Ric said in amazement. "How do you do it?"   
  
"I know myself, and how low I'd stoop," Sonny replied. "You have no limits at all. You just do anything to tick me off." He tossed Ric aside, where he landed on his stomach, and leaned over him. "You're the real hood."   
  
"That's me, Ric the Villain," he said cynically, eyeing Sonny nervously. "Because no matter what, you're always the anti-hero and anyone who opposes you is the bad one. Oh, and of course, you're always right."   
  
"I always am."   
  
Ric shuddered as Sonny ran his tongue down his back. Then, he felt himself being rolled back onto his back. He blinked at Sonny, who held his arms together at the wrist over his head. Then, he watched as Sonny began tying his wrists together with his own tie.   
  
"Ah, kinky," he commented. "You are a freak."   
  
"You're the freak, Ric. I'm just playing along."   
  
"Ha! Certainly...."   
  
Sonny kissed him roughly, and then flipped him over again.   
  
"Well, can you blame me?" Sonny asked. "I like cute, annoying playthings. Weren't you the one who said I'm a sadistic psychotic?"   
  
"Yeah, well, you are."   
  
"Exactly. So shut up and enjoy what you begged for."   
  
Ric blushed. Part of him wanted to hate Sonny for this, but....he really couldn't. He shut his eyes as Sonny kissed his neck. It was....it really was....what he wanted.   
  
**End of Chapter Three**


	4. Chapter Four

  


**_The Sweetest Pain_**

  
  
**Chapter Four**   
  
When Jason came downstairs the next morning, he found something very disturbing. Sonny was asleep on the sofa, his clothes disheveled and his hair a mess. And on his chest.....lay Ric, in similar condition. Sonny was frowning slightly in sleep, and Ric looked blissfully peaceful. Jason sighed. He did not want to believe it, but he was too stupid not to get it. He shook his head and passed them by.   
  
Sonny woke up a little later, stretching lazily. He looked down at Ric and groaned a little. So, Ric had really gotten him to do it. Damn. Yeah, it had been terrific, but....it was incredibly wrong.   
  
"Ric."   
  
Ric slept on.   
  
"Ric." Sonny shook him. "Ric? Hello! Ric!"   
  
"......"   
  
"Man, get up, you brat." Sonny gave a series of progressively hard taps on the face.   
  
"Mmphhh.....stop it!" Ric yelled sleepily, hitting Sonny's hand away. He yawned and opened his eyes. "Sonny?"   
  
"Morning."   
  
"Mm....you....I mean, we..." Ric looked around. "We...."   
  
"Yeah, we did."   
  
Ric smiled. "I win again," he murmured sleepily, lying against Sonny's chest.   
  
"Well, if you consider rolling around on the floor crying my name out, then yeah....you won."   
  
Ric shot him a poisonous look and Sonny laughed. "You take things too seriously," he told Ric, swatting him. "Way too seriously."   
  
"Would you please _stop_ doing that?" Ric asked, twitching in annoyance.   
  
"Nope." And he did it again. "What's the matter? Never gotten your _perfect_ ass smacked before?"   
  
"Actually, no, I haven't." Ric sat up, smoothening out his clothes. He frowned a little in thought and then looked at Sonny. "Our mother wouldn't have.....I mean...."   
  
Sonny shrugged. "She never did to me, but being that you must have been so unbearable..."   
  
Ric looked a little downhearted by this.   
  
"Nah. I'm just kidding." Sonny sat up and tousled Ric's hair. "She wouldn't have hit you."   
  
"Then, may I ask what gives _you_ the right to?" Ric asked haughtily.   
  
"You're mine." Sonny pulled him close by the front of his shirt. "I can do whatever I want to you." He kissed him. "......Didn't I prove that last night?"   
  
Ric blushed. "Hmph. You did."   
  
"Don't look so insulted," Sonny said. "You enjoyed every moment of it, and I was easy on you. If you're right and we are dead, you'd better prepare yourself for a lot more in the future."   
  
Ric shifted his eyes, looking a bit uncomfortable. As it was, he was still sitting because it would be a little difficult to walk right now.   
  
"Ha. Now you're scared," Sonny observed. "That's good, you stay scared. It's so cute."   
  
"You're treating me like a kid."   
  
"I always have, haven't I?"   
  
"Kind of." Ric shifted. "I'm younger by almost ten years, but....I'm no child."   
  
"It's not because you _are_ a child, Ric. It's because I like berating you, and you're immature. I don't deny it."   
  
Ric looked insulted. "I bet you never treated Carly like this."   
  
"You're not Carly," Sonny pointed out. "You're a man, so I can be harsh. I don't have to coddle you, Ric. In fact, I'm making it a personal goal to destroy that inflated ego of yours and humiliate you as much as humanly possible."   
  
Ric looked horrified. "You sick bastard!"   
  
"You knew that from the beginning, don't be so shocked." Sonny took Ric's wrists in his hands. "Didn't you get it last night, when I had you tied up and helpless?"   
  
"It was kinky, but.....I thought that was for....a thrill or something."   
  
"Not humiliating enough for you?" Sonny shook his head. "How about this then?"   
  
Sonny easily pulled Ric over his knees.   
  
"What the hell are you doing?!?!" Ric shouted furiously.   
  
"It's pitiful that you can't even get out of these things," Sonny said, running a hand across Ric's bottom. "I mean, you look pretty ridiculous right now."   
  
"GODDAMN YOU, SONNY!!!!"   
  
"Whoa, calm down." Sonny swatted him, though it was more of a pat. "Where's all that smugness, eh?"   
  
"You....really are sick," Ric said darkly. "But so am I, so go ahead. It's kind of a turn on."   
  
"So much for your image as a classy lawyer," Sonny mused. He leaned his face down and kissed Ric's ear. "You really think it's a turn on?"   
  
"Yeah, it's kind of sexy," Ric said naughtily. It was a half a lie, however; his face was beet red and he felt incredibly stupid. "Why don't you go ahead and punish me, big brother?"   
  
"You said that last night. You really are a sick guy, Lansing."   
  
"So are you."   
  
They laughed a little. But then, there was a creak at the door. Sonny looked and saw Jason coming in. He instantly pushed Ric off his lap. Ric fell to the floor and yelped as his back hit the coffee table. When he saw Jason, he knew why Sonny had done that, but from the look on Jason's face, he hadn't pushed Ric off soon enough. Ric turned scarlet and turned his face.   
  
"....Sonny...." Jason exhaled. "_Why_?"   
  
"He doesn't owe you any explanations," Ric said nastily. "It's none of your--"   
  
Sonny cut him off by covering his mouth with his hand. Ric's eyes widened. "Mm!"   
  
"You're not my lawyer anymore, Ric," Sonny told him. He released him and turned to Jason. "Jason, I really, _really_ know you'll never understand this. But listen, it's not all what you think. Ric....has issues....and not only can I not hate him anymore, I..." He shrugged. "I like him. A little."   
  
"Sonny..."   
  
"I know it's crazy, Jason," Sonny interrupted. "I'm sorry. Listen, even you would feel sorry for him."   
  
Jason looked at Ric. "I don't think so."   
  
"His father raped him, Jason," Sonny said. "Because I took our mother away from Trevor Lansing, Trevor Lansing raped his own son."   
  
Ric trembled with fury. "SONNY!"   
  
Sonny gripped Ric's shoulder, but otherwise ignored him. "You see, Jason? It's not his fault, it drove him nuts."   
  
There was the slightest glimmer of pity in Jason's blue eyes for a moment, and then his face hardened again. Still, he did not know what to say. Sonny had been hurt by his stepfather, although not in that way, so he knew Sonny would understand Ric completely now. As for pitying Ric....it was a tragedy, but Ric did not have to blame Sonny for it.   
  
And Jason told Sonny this. "It wasn't your fault, Sonny. He had no right to come after you and your family."   
  
"It was easier for him to blame me...rather than blame his own father," Sonny explained. "I mean, I had no problem blaming Deke, but he wasn't my real dad and he didn't do anything nearly that disgusting to me. But can you imagine, Jason? To be....violated in the worst way...by your own blood parent?"   
  
"Well, it explains why he's crazy," Jason said. "But he still took it too far."   
  
"Stop talking over my head!" Ric shouted, jumping to his feet. He turned on Sonny. "How _dare_ you tell him what I told you! I never gave you permission! You have no right to keep embarrassing me in front of him!"   
  
"I don't keep secrets from Jason, Ric." Sonny stood. "You know that."   
  
"It wasn't your secret to tell," Ric seethed.   
  
Sonny just looked at him, and put an arm around his shoulders. He drew Ric close to his side, and ignored him again. "Jason, he's still nuts, but he's getting better. I don't expect you to understand it completely, but....please..."   
  
"....I....won't say anything about it."   
  
"Thanks, Jason."   
  
Jason took another look at them, and left again, shaking his head. When he was gone, Sonny gave his sulking brother a kiss on the side of the head. Ric just angrily pushed Sonny's arm away.   
  
"You arrogant lowlife," he growled. "I didn't want Jason to know."   
  
"Why not?" asked Sonny. "You should be grateful that there's something to make Jason feel even a tiny bit of pity for you. Otherwise, if we're not dead, he will kill you; and if we are dead, he'll beat the daylights out of you whenever he feels like it."   
  
"He does that already," Ric pointed out. "So do you."   
  
"Heh. I'm not so bad."   
  
Ric looked weary. "Sonny...."   
  
"Yeah, Ric?"   
  
"Don't 'yeah, Ric' me," Ric said. "Forget that moron Jason, he's apathetic anyway. I wanted to ask you this morning....do you regret last night?"   
  
"Regret it? Nah. I only regret things that get other people hurt." Sonny looked at him. "Do you regret it?"   
  
"Not at all," Ric said with his cute smile. "It's another victory for me. And I enjoyed it."   
  
Sonny just laughed. "You're....something."   
  
"Well, whatever I am...." Ric took Sonny's hand in his own. "Sonny, you said there would be no going back from last night. So, does that still apply? Whether we return to life or go further in death....will you keep from going back on everything?"   
  
"No, I meant what I said," Sonny said. "Why?"   
  
"Well....our mother abandonned me, so...I was just thinking..."   
  
"I won't leave you, Ric."   
  
"Good. I'll hold you to that."   
  
Sonny grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him into a kiss. Ric's eyes widened. Sonny released him and grinned. "I look forward to it, Lansing."   
  
Ric just smiled slyly. The stakes were high now in his game, and he was balanced shakily between falling into love or hate with Sonny. But he didn't care. This game could go on for eternity, and he would not care. It was obsession, and he loved every moment of it.   
  


**The End**


End file.
